Half-Nekkid Facial*

Why am I green? 'Cause I'm a bit o Irish. My maternal grandfather's original surname was O'Malley. It was Americanized years ago. Is that Irish enough for you?

Osbasso instructed ALL of us to include a bit o green in our contributions, with a liberal splashing of alcohol or shamrocks to boot! Don't be alarmed by my mismatched background, it's only for a few days to honor the man, the legend, the hung like John Holmes... Osbasso. If you like the shamrock background on the left go visit Akane's Graphics.Earlier this week I was begging H3.2 on my KNEES to take a picture of my lips for HNT. It wasn't even Steak and BJ Day. I made random faces in order to obtain the best lip shots in the world. In the end, I didn't even get a lousy fucking T-shirt proclaiming "I made pouty faces and all I got was this stupid picture where a person cannot fully appreciate my lips." I really like my lips. Not because they are gorgeously overblown with whatever the fuck they inject into lips these days. No,I like them because they are just right. They are shaped nicely and dammit I like them. I don't know if they are as wonderful as my feet, but they'll do in a pinch.

My non-Irish HNT.

For more exciting pictures of Half-Nekkidness-Green, go visit Osbasso.

*(Pictures removed)

I Blove You

On Thursday, March 9th, 2006 I had my twenty-thousandth visitor since I started keeping track with a Site Meter on August 2, 2005. For me, a blogger that started this whole thing just to keep my mind off of smoking and my son being gone for the summer this is an amazing milestone. I didn't realize that people would READ my posts when I began this journey. I never dreamed that I would have T.M.A.S. (The Mutual Adoration Society) going on with other bloggers. Many thanks to Shelli and Manblogger for dreaming that term up.

Speaking of Shelli, on her blogger profile her random question is "Please describe how you could take the peel off an apple all in one go..." Her most beautific answer: "With my apple peeler-corer-slicer." To those of you that are saying "huh?" if you had one, you would know. I need to get off my lazy butt and figure out how to make the yummy apple with baked goodness on top without gluten. Again, if you were a Pampered Chef slut (I am in recovery for this affliction)... you would know.

Okay, stop right there. H3.2 is reading over my shoulder and protesting that "You're not making any sense" because he isn't a Pampered Chef slut. Ever the backseat driver living vicariously through my blog because he isn't cool enough to have his own blog he's complaining. And now he says "I could have my own blog, just nobody would visit it and I post on FORUMS all DAY. AND I had a blog WAY before you did and I've had MANY websites." So, um shut up H3.2. However, as our year anniversary is coming up fast and furious with no Vin Diesel or riced-out cars in sight here's the back story on apple peeler/corer/slicer and the yummy apple with baked goodness on top. For all of you groaning and thinking "WTF" and "we don't come here for this" blame H3.2. I blame him.

This is THE apple/peeler/corer/slicer made by Pampered Chef. The picture illustrates not only the AP/C/S but the STAND as well. You may ooohhh and aaahhhh now. H3.2 claims to know what a AP/C/S is (I'm so tied of typing it out), however if he doesn't know about THE AP/C/S then he don't know nothing. How's that for fucked up Engrish 101?

As far as the yummy goodness goes, the recipe can be found here. For those of you that don't care enough to visit Pampered Chef, the short version is sliced apples with a flour/sugar/oats/butter/nuts layer on top, all baked into... YUMMY GOODNESS. However I can't eat the flour/oats part. Which makes it not goodness but suckness.

Fuck. All I wanted to say was "You all are great" and "Thanks for the HBI." However, since I'm already here, I'd like to share a weird Sam/Chicken thingy. Oh, and please disregard any typos in this post. I'm tired. Very, very tired.

*picture removed*

This is Chicken's forehead last week. We were at the post office, I was mailing a check and forgot to write down the check number. I grabbed my pen, lifted up Chicken's hair and wrote it on his forehead. Later I had him pull back his hair so I could enter the number into Quicken.

His hair isn't long, but it is just long enough to cover the writing. Doesn't he have the bluest eyeballs ever? Especially compared to my not quite blue but it says so on my driver's license blue eyes? Notice the scattering of freckles on his nose? A perfect match to mine. I love my Chicken. He lets me write on his forehead... and then model it so I can blog about it.