An Engineer's Guide To Cats

If you happen to love engineers and cats, this YouTube video is for you.

I Love Google

If you should happen to search Google for "horse cock stories" you would get 1.75 (approximately) million results. My blog is #6 on that list. HA HA HA HA. I have fallen back in love with my site meter.

Braggart

I made dinner tonight and I am proud. For those of you keeping track at home, this is the second real dinner I have cooked in 14 weeks. Yep, my body is not the most functional. But HEY! I cooked a dinner so great I'd fuck myself if I wasn't so busy sitting on my ass sighing contentedly. The dinner:

Thai Red Curry Chicken with Tasty Vegetables

• Sauce: coconut milk, fish sauce, red curry paste
• Canned vegetables: water chestnuts and bamboo shoots
• Fresh vegetables: shiitake mushrooms, orange bell peppers, snow pea pods
• Served on: rice noodles

It was outfuckingstanding and of course gluten free.

Post Script: I am sad that the current season of Top Gear is over.

Snippets and Guitar Hero

Happy 1 year Wedding Anniversary to me and my Teddy Bear!

For our anniversary TB bought Chicken his own guitar hero guitar. He said that it was Chicken's gift for being his official stepson for a whole year, and for Chicken putting up with him. The guitar is a plug-in model, smaller and whiter than our original one. Chicken has named it "white boy" after the following stylings of Wild Cherry.


That's my kid.

His current player on Guitar Hero is the Grim Ripper. As he looked remarkably like the Grim Reaper I inquired as to the name. Chicken insists that it is the Grim Ripper. Why? "Because he rips," quoth the Chicken. Rock on my son. Rock on.*

Lastly, overheard in the Sam household this evening:

Teddy Bear: "Chicken come here!"
Chicken: "Yes, father of mine," in a sweet but scary little orphan boy about to murder us all in our sleep way.

*Yes that is ending a sentence in a preposition but I feel that the rule is waived when you are encouraging someone to rock on. It's a cool thing, you wouldn't get it.

Friday Fucking Meme

Okay, so this meme I brought upon myself. I found it at Redneck Diva's place and thought, "Self, it is time to get back into Photoshop. This meme is calling for you." I didn't even need to get tagged for this one, I wanted it so badly. If you'd like the particulars, go visit the Diva and read her post, then tag yourself!

The Newish Old Deal

Options

I would like to interact more with my bloggy readers. You have two choices:

A.If you comment on my post and it comes from your email account then I will reply to it from samsstories@gmail.com. If your comment comes via "noreply-comment@blogger.com" you will not get a response. Don't you want a response? I know you do. You totally want it. I've tried saying this before with no response from you damn people but I'm doing it again because I feel bad that I do not respond to you, my favorite commenting peeps.

B. Blogger has a new option where you can ask to have future comments on a post emailed to you. That way I can reply in the comments and you will receive it that way. However, you will receive ALL comments on the post in your mailbox.

Fucking pick an option people. Just! Pick! An! Option!

Duh?

Apparently most monitors aren't set to 1400x1050 resolution, therefore the Black Mutt site looked funky, wonky and huge. After checking out MY blog on a much lower resolution I think it looks like a bloated ass. But fuck it. I spend more time looking at my blog than you do, so there!

But... the Black Mutt Pet Services web site isn't meant for pleasing me, so therefore I changed it. It looks better now I believe. I also discovered a cool way to make one column equal to the longer column. I was searching through some CSS tutorials and realized my mad skills are well beyond the basic tutorials. I am a rockin' coding biatch yall. I just wish I had design skills to match my coding. Oh well. Someone else can make things pretty. I like the backend. Huh. Huh. Back. End. Okay, shutting up now.

What The Fuck Are You Doing?

So, what are you doing? I'm working on a website for a dear friend of mine. If you're keeping track, that is excuse #1435 in the list of Why I'm Not Blogging. I have PROOF of this illicit endeavor, however. A picture of what the site looks like today, including my burgeoning Photoshop prowess. You see, I wanted to post a picture of my friend's new cow baby with the happy mommy cow. But... as any woman that has given birth knows, the vagina isn't so glorious right after having a baby. There is STUFF hanging out and shit. I didn't want to post THAT on the website so I photoshopped it out. It looks brilliant, as well as the rest of the glorious site. Fucking awesome if I do say so myself. Go ahead, click on it and make it BIGGER. Oh, and it's not on the world wide web, so you can't actually go there yet. I'll let you know when it's ready.