Mah Dirty Bewbies
I yelled at my husband tonight because I am a douche bag*. I am seriously frustrated at just about everything for no apparent good reason. It's probably just the hormones. We need to talk about breastfeeding before I cut someone. Egg is still nursing up a fucking storm, yo*. I finally got my first postpartum period less than two weeks ago. That's right, bitches. Just a few days shy of a whole year of no ragging*. I'm damn happy about that, let me fucking tell you. What that means for those of you that haven't nursed in every possible location in southern California for a year is that Egg is still getting 95% of his daily caloric intake from mah bewbies. And yes, I do realize that for some people,* nursing full time does not stop their Aunt Flo from visiting. I got lucky, I admit it. On the other hand, I am at the point where I would like for Egg to eat some damn food already. Food that does not come from mah nipples.
My goal in breastfeeding was to nurse until Egg's first birthday. After that I wanted to continue if Egg and I still wanted it. I did not expect to pass Egg's first birthday (Jan. 20) still nursing around the clock, literally. A good night is when Egg wakes up every 3 hours to nurse. I don't even want to talk about a bad night. But the thing is, I don't really mind getting up and feeding him. It takes about ten minutes, he goes right back to sleep and so do I. I still take naps with him in the morning to make up for the loss and generally I am doing okay. A big part of my ability to get up every night is based on how Egg is during the day.
My kid is awesome. He has the best disposition EVAR. People comment everywhere we go on how happy and friendly he is, they surmise that he is a "good" baby. And damn he really is just that. He's happy and chillin' and starting to become funny and totally goofy. It makes it easy to get up at night when your baby is just so damn wonderful all day long. He will crawl off to his room, grab a few books and read to himself. I can see him from the living room, but he is content. By himself. In his room. It has taken Chicken THIRTEEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS to get to that point. Not that I'm comparing them or anything. *smirks*
Now, I offer Egg food. He got over pureed baby food rather quickly and only eats regular food. Sometimes he will eat a decent amount of food. Sometimes he chews it, seems to enjoy it, and then spits it out. Other times he just isn't interested. If I was so inclined, I suppose I could forcibly wean Egg and the ensuing hunger would push him to eat more and then sleep better with a tummy filled with steak and potatoes. However, I am not really interested in pushing him to eat food on my time line.
If he wants to nurse then I'm going to let him nurse. If that means that I get up every three hours all night long, then that's what I do. I will offer him food and let him go at his own pace. I'll enjoy his sunny personality all day long. Here's what I need from you: any and all suggestions related to nursing, sleep, and food with the following exceptions: I'm not going to let him cry it out at night, I'm not going to wean him before he is ready. I waited so long for Egg and I know that in a heartbeat he'll be a teenager, rolling his eyes at me. (I mean I REALLY know that for a fact.)
I don't mind the getting up at night. I'm just so fucking over people telling me that if he ate more food then he would sleep. Maybe he would, but I'm not going to force it on him. And maybe he wouldn't. Some babies sleep through the night at six weeks old and I bet they aren't eating steak and potatoes for dinner. Or maybe they are and that's what I'm doing wrong. What the fuck do I know?
*I'm looking at you, The New Girl. Not that you're a douche bag. You know what I'm talking about, yo.
My goal in breastfeeding was to nurse until Egg's first birthday. After that I wanted to continue if Egg and I still wanted it. I did not expect to pass Egg's first birthday (Jan. 20) still nursing around the clock, literally. A good night is when Egg wakes up every 3 hours to nurse. I don't even want to talk about a bad night. But the thing is, I don't really mind getting up and feeding him. It takes about ten minutes, he goes right back to sleep and so do I. I still take naps with him in the morning to make up for the loss and generally I am doing okay. A big part of my ability to get up every night is based on how Egg is during the day.
My kid is awesome. He has the best disposition EVAR. People comment everywhere we go on how happy and friendly he is, they surmise that he is a "good" baby. And damn he really is just that. He's happy and chillin' and starting to become funny and totally goofy. It makes it easy to get up at night when your baby is just so damn wonderful all day long. He will crawl off to his room, grab a few books and read to himself. I can see him from the living room, but he is content. By himself. In his room. It has taken Chicken THIRTEEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS to get to that point. Not that I'm comparing them or anything. *smirks*
Now, I offer Egg food. He got over pureed baby food rather quickly and only eats regular food. Sometimes he will eat a decent amount of food. Sometimes he chews it, seems to enjoy it, and then spits it out. Other times he just isn't interested. If I was so inclined, I suppose I could forcibly wean Egg and the ensuing hunger would push him to eat more and then sleep better with a tummy filled with steak and potatoes. However, I am not really interested in pushing him to eat food on my time line.
If he wants to nurse then I'm going to let him nurse. If that means that I get up every three hours all night long, then that's what I do. I will offer him food and let him go at his own pace. I'll enjoy his sunny personality all day long. Here's what I need from you: any and all suggestions related to nursing, sleep, and food with the following exceptions: I'm not going to let him cry it out at night, I'm not going to wean him before he is ready. I waited so long for Egg and I know that in a heartbeat he'll be a teenager, rolling his eyes at me. (I mean I REALLY know that for a fact.)
I don't mind the getting up at night. I'm just so fucking over people telling me that if he ate more food then he would sleep. Maybe he would, but I'm not going to force it on him. And maybe he wouldn't. Some babies sleep through the night at six weeks old and I bet they aren't eating steak and potatoes for dinner. Or maybe they are and that's what I'm doing wrong. What the fuck do I know?
*I'm looking at you, The New Girl. Not that you're a douche bag. You know what I'm talking about, yo.
posted by Sam at
11:04 PM
24 Comments:
*You ARE lucky and I'm glad you admit it, yo.
I don't really know about him sleeping more if he ate more. I think that's a myth. My one year old niece eats like a freaking caterpillar and she's still up a couple times a night.
You mentioned that he chews and spits out, though. Does he swallow food? Does he gag on it? I had TLNG evaluated by early intervention at 10mos because she wasn't really eating food. Her situation was different, obv, but it might be worth looking into if he's not swallowing solids and prefers only *hem* liquids.
I just re-read and see that you wrote he eats a decent amount of food sometimes.
Maybe offering food BEFORE you offer the boobs? My sister did do that (but like I said, kid's up anyway.)
I'm absolutely NO help, in other words.
I had some success offering a sippee cup of milk at night wakings, instead of nursing. But when I did it, the babies were so close to weaning anyway, and only waking once a night, so it's not really a comparable situation.
And as TNG mentioned, I went from "nursing first, then food" to "food first, then nursing."
First off - I have no experience with breastfeeding. None. No one in my life breastfed anywhere around me, I was adopted (Lutheran Social Services) at two weeks, some fifty-eight years ago. So I am guessing.
I would look at attitude. You are obviously enjoying the feeding, as is Egg. That has to continue. Egg, if he is able to entertain himself, has to know that he is rewarding you with each feeding as much as he is feeding his stomach, his inner child, and his bond to Mom, family, and the community.
I would look at his eating habits - and how you act and react. Start treating meal times as more socially-integrated, not by rewards and punishment, but by considering how you feel about the antics. It should disappoint you when he spits food out. Express that feeling with a sigh, with a resigned expression, a lowered voice.
You share the breast feeding, make him more a part of your eating, eventually he should pick up on that, and wish to share what you do. Exaggerate choosing food, talk about food you are eating as much as about what is offered Egg. Let him choose to join in more socialized activity like eating, without "training" him with punishments or coercing things. Sharing meals should be as relaxed as sharing a movie (should be) - think "Mulan", not "The Shining".
Umm, I hate to ask. But, you aren't setting a bad example at the table, are you, tasting his food and spitting it out? Because, then you would be just really twisting him about. But I am sure you don't regularly spit out food and make a game of it. You wouldn't be doing that, not as a mature and responsible pillar of the community. . . I hope.
About the irritant factor - perhaps a bit more green tea with honey (maybe decaf?), perhaps a bit longer walk, maybe a good massage.
Or maybe just toodle to YouTube.com and search "The Blue Man Group America's Got Talent". That has been fun for me this week.
After yelling - have you considered making brownies? Almost bread-like smells, with chocolate. Not really as good as an apology, but not a bad start, either.
Blessed be!
Are you giving him anything else to drink? Does he like sippy cups with juice/water/other milk? It would drive me crazy to get up every 3 hours, and I would have tried to end that a LOOONG time ago. Our solution was not more food, but more filling food, like oatmeal, before bedtime. It breaks down slower, so you're not hungry as quickly. Also, he may just be in the habit of waking up, which might be slightly painful to break. Instead of feeding him, have you tried just putting him back to sleep (rocking, rubbing his back, making your husband do it)?
If you're both happy, there's no reason to stop, but seriously, getting up every 3 hours is good for no one. I do think that encouraging him to stop eating in the middle of the night is a good idea regardless of when you stop nursing.
howdy. egg is teh awesome!
in terms of period/irritability: after going off of the pill and having had two periods my hormones are all over the fucking place, causing lots of fun mood swings and irritability. i'm not sure if that is hormonally comparable...
i've used progesterone cream before and it helped. also rooibos tea is supposed to be magical.
check out: http://www.womenshealthinstituteoftexas.com/
my therapist swears by it, but i have yet to look closely. i think you might have to buy something for the full info--if so and you are interested, halvesies!
Truthfully, sounds like your body may be doing something behind your back. I know when I wanted to cut someone, it was when my baby was backing off the milk train already. Didn't seem to correspond with fewer nursings or night wakings, but with her (and then him) actually drinking less milk. And that whole more food=less night wakings thing is utter BS, at least with my 2 kids. When my son decided he would really only sleep attached to the boob, and I was about to lose my sanity over sleep, I had my husband handle one night, and the kid started sleeping through. He obviously wasn't hungry, just wanted the boob, and when he didn't get it for one night he decided it wasn't worth it. Or that's my interpretation of my 10 month old son's actions. YMMV. And...I possibly left a novel on my de-lurking comment?
yea I'm with Hydro on this one. My 1st son was a light sleeper and nursed the longest and most frequent of my 3 kiddos. First months ws more like every 2 hours then 3. I was motivated by him having (dairy/egg) allergies to keep going as long as possible.
Once he started teething which made him scratch my nips, which made me squirm in pain, which startled him and refused to nurse while my boobs were about to explode full with milk, the nursing became less. At about 18 months my boobies were closed for business. Well untill bebeh no. 3.
He has been quite attachment to me for the first 2-3 years. Basically lived in the sling his first year. Ever since he has been the easiest at bed time, still now he's the first to go to sleep.
I did give him oatmeal (mixed with pumped breast milk) and later home made pureed food starting at 9 months or so. His main food was mommy milk though.
And just a more random thought: unlike most people who just think of breasts as sexual, I'm also very proud of my boobies because they did such a superb job feeding my three kids for a total of 3.5 years all combined. My kids thrived, were comforted and I enjoyed doing so 99% of the time (no one enjoys being engorged lol)
And damn, they still look perky!
I don't know about the correlation between food and sleeping at night for young babies. My baby #3 was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks through absolutely nothing I did. Some babies like to sleep and some babies don't.
However, I think I would try to get Egg to stop eating so frequently at night. Not stop all together, just sleep longer than 3 hours at a time. That can't be any better for him than it is for you. Does he eat at the table with you guys at dinner? Does he see you eating normal food? I would try to work on an evening meal that doesn't involve your boobies. Then you know he's at least getting the nutrition a one year old needs.
At this point? I would assume the night waking is more of a habit than anything. He feels comforted, he gets to see your shining face, and he gets a full belly out of it, what's not to love? If you don't want him to cry it out, you are probably going to have to send him to bed really tired and with a full belly.I'm guessing here because my kids always slept, but a playful one year old that loves you? Is going to want to see you all the time- including the middle of the night.
So, MW would still be nursing at night if I didn't night wean him a month ago(he's 13.5 months.) He's always been a big nurser and still nurses well four times a day and I'm cool with that, but I couldn't take waking ever three hours anymore so he went off the boob and I gave him a sippy of water instead. It worked fine. I mean, we have terrible sleep issues, but they revolved around him wanting to be in the bed, not him wanting to nurse at night.
I agree that the night waking is a habit, and until you are ready to night wean, he'll probably keep it up. I don't think it has anything to do with how much solids he's eating. The nutritional content of your milk changes as your baby ages, so he's going to start taking more solids because there is (and will continue to be) less nutrients in your milk and his body will respond to that by eating more solids.
Miles EXCLUSIVELY breast fed for about seven and a half months. Wouldn't touch solids; not even purees (he never much liked them) but once he was ready for real finger foods he took off and in the past month he's started eating like a fucking horse. He eats more than my two-year-old. It's insane.
So, yeah - I wouldn't worry about weaning until you are ready and he'll eat food when he's ready. If he was eating NO solids, I'd be worried; but if he can pretty obviously chew and swallow and such, and he's not losing weight or hasn't stopped gaining weight, I wouldn't sweat it. You're instincts are right, I think - it'll happen when it happens.
PHEW. I'm a wordy bitch.
I have no advice but simply wanted to commend you on continuing to get up every three hours at night after so long. You are amazing
Muthering...you're doing it wrong. I hear that if you breastfeed for too long, it'll make your baby see teal instead of green. You have been warned.
**sigh** the grass is always greener ... or teal-er in Tobiwan's opinion.
My baby weaned himself off nursing at 3 and half months. I was so sad he didn't want anything to do with me anymore.
I too think that full tummy = longer sleeping periods is a myth.
Signed,
Sleep-deprived and six months behind you.
Repeat **sigh**
Ok. From one currently breastfeeding mommy to the other *fistbump*. We rock!
Anywho, my little girl is still struggling with the solids somewhat. She's better with textures, just not the amount she eats. It has not made a difference whether I feed her solids directly before she goes to sleep or not, she decides if she wants to sleep through. She nurses throughout the day (I'm lucky with a daycare close to work that I can go and feed her over lunch and then pump of the morning and evening. Mad freezer-filling pumping going on here.) She has gone through some nights recently where she doesn't want to go to sleep as early as usual (read by 9pm) but she also started crawling fast like a fox and pulling up on stuff all in the same week. It's been an adventure at my house the past couple weeks.
I didn't get to breastfeed my twins because they were so early, hospital stays very extended, etc. By the time they came off ventilators, etc. they wouldn't latch. Broke my heart but I pumped enough milk to feed them both until they both came home from the hospital (one at 9 weeks one day, one at 14 weeks, I pumped for 10 weeks).
I have found that my girly eats more if she has solids before she has the bewbies. She still eats like a ravinous vulture before bed and first thing when she wakes up. We alternate between her waking up once during the night to sleeping through until my alarm clock goes off, getting up and eating, then back to sleep for her. I know, not much advice, but I'm willing to talk if you want to drop me an email. Good luck!
BTW, my little one has a very great disposition during the day and the middle of the night, too. It's awesome.
Oh, I forgot to add. I started my little visitor back in December. I made it 8.5 months of breastfeeding without a period. Whoot whoot! I forgot how expensive tampons are and they had gone up since the last time I bought them (damn inflation). Anyways, congrats on the breastfeeding and do what makes the both of you happy. Screw what anyone else thinks. I'm being pressured by the future ex-husband to quit breastfeeding so he can keep my girly overnight and she's only 10 months and no where near ready to wean. I told him to suck it. He's not a happy camper but I'm sticking with what's best for her. He can go bite the big one for all I care.
Anywho again, I'm proud of you. Keep on keepin' on...
I have no advice at all. You are doing everything right - offering foods, feeding on demand, etc. I like BradK's thought - negative expression for spitting the food out - unless it's obvious he doesn't like it. But maybe "hey, you are supposed to chew and swallow, not spit it out". *shrug*
Pman didn't really like solids until he was 18mo. I don't know when he started to sleep longer than 3hrs at a time, though. Godzilla started solids earlier than Pman did, but still woke up all the time. And still wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes.
Is that helpful? I dunno. But there's my comment. :)
peace...
It really can be so much about the baby. Bliss nursed every 2 hours for 2 years even though he ate a ton around 1 on. He also woke up early and still does, although 6:30 - 7 is way better than 5am of his babyhood.
I had a 7 month break from my period with him.
Soul slept through from day one. She does not eat through the night. I feed her before I go to sleep and she usually only eats one more time if at all. She will also sleep in until 7:30-8.
Withher after bleeding for 3 months postpartum I had a two month break and was getting my period at 5 months out.
She wantedsolids earlier than Bliss and I give her food now but it is always whole foods and much is about texture. It also seems the more she swallows the harder it is for her to poop so it is frustrating.
But she was also up crawling at 5 months and is about to walk any day now at almost 9 months so she is so active. She is also turning out to be a climber...ack.
I think you are doing fantastic and it will be over so fast...it can get overwhelming, and I remember at a year out is a big one but it passes and changes and gets even better so if you can just breathe and keep on doing the awesome job you are doing mama.
I flunked at the whole boobie thing, I am useless on this one :)
g
I nursed my big boy for 20 mos & enjoyed every minute of it (well, not so much the nights he wanted to sleep attached to me like a tick) - but as mentioned already, this time will fly by so blessed FAST, so don't stress! Sounds like you both are doin' great.
[Z gave up on da boobies bcz of our fucked-up joint-custody visitation schedule which kicked in when he was 18 mos old, but let's not revisit those dark times. I could have been one of those crunchy-granola moms nursing my kindergartner ;-)!]
The RFSB Awards are back- get your nominations in!
I nursed my son for 16 months. He ate his baby food and did well with solids too, but he really liked mah bewbies. The pediatrician finally made me stop because she said he was doing nothing but using me as a human pacifier. Sounds to me like that is what Egg is using you for.
As an aside, nobody knows their baby better than Mom. You are doing a great job.
Kaila,
I think the answer you get about "how long", varies a lot between cultures.
Doctors used to working with Yuppies anxious to get on with their non-parent lifestyle are focused on "how quick can I wean this kid and send him/her to day care where they belong?"
I understand world-wide, that age 3 to 4 years is fairly common, when kids finally leave off nursing.
If you are being a "pacifier" at 16 months, apparently the child is still being nurtured. He still finds some benefit in the contact, the exchange of hormones and the sustenance. And the sharing of breaths, the closeness.
Your doctor won't know the difference, in 20 years, in your son's physical and emotional development. Doctors have been wrong before - look how long Dr. Spock's book - and Thalidomide - were relied on.
Were you aware that some state, and the US Congress, recently considered legislation to ban the use of antibiotics, except in extreme cases? It seems today, for convenience, doctors and the public rely on antibiotics so much that diseases are developing resistant strains - raising the specter of untreatable diseases.
Whether your doctor is right or wrong about the value of nursing to you and to your son (I think the doctor was wrong), making you stop nursing feels awfully disrespectful to you and to your son.
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