Wait A Fucking Minute
This post has been rattling around my mostly empty brain for months and I just cannot let it disturb my beauty sleep for one more fucking night. My GAWD I just keep thinking and thinking when it isn't even the most interesting or important topic to anyone. Fuck. Then I figure that I am about to irritate all 2.7 of my readers with this crap so I don't write it. Then I go to bed and think about it some more. Therefore, I fucking give up. I am writing this shit and getting it over with right the fuck now.
May I introduce: My Weight, The Slightly Shorter Version But Still Entirely Too Damn Long
I started out my pregnancy with Egg at 135 pounds. By four weeks along, also known as when I missed my period, I weighed 140 pounds. This is REALLY BIG for me, in case you were wondering. I'm 5'4" when I stand up really tall and I am small boned. By 8 weeks into my pregnancy I was back at 135 pounds. At 37 weeks (or so) I was at 147 pounds. I got sick and dropped back down to 145 pounds. The day I went into labor I weighed 145 pounds. (Yes, there is a labor and delivery story in my head bugging me, too. You'll get it. Just be patient.)
So! 145 pound Sam delivers a 7 pound 7 ounce baby plus whatever else comes out of my cooterus during my hospital stay. I come home about 30 hours after delivering Egg and smugly step on the scale because I AM A FUCKING IDIOT. Also? Who lets a one day postpartum woman step on a fucking scale? Stupid fucking idiots, that's who. Wanna guess how much I weighed? Exactly the same. THE SAME. I pushed a 7lb 7oz baby out of my fucking hoo haw and probably a placenta or twelve and I FUCKING WEIGHED THE SAME. What. The. Fuckity. Fuck?! It boggles the tiny little mind I posess to this day.
Now, I understand that medication blah blah IV blah blah bloating etc. but really? The same weight? Not a pound less or more. The same. It kills me. Then I started producing milk like some dairy cow all hopped up on hormones, Egg drinks like a champ and within two weeks I was at 128lbs. The breastfeeding hunger consumed me and my attitude about food changed completely. You see, by the end of my pregnancy I hated food. I looked at fat people and thought, "How the fuck did you get so damn fat? Food is nasty shit and you ate so much you got fat." After two weeks of not being pregnant this attitude had changed and I was starting to wonder how any of us don't weight 650lbs because fuck me food is good shit.
My total hatred of chocolate disappeared within hours of giving birth. I had TB raiding the snack machines at the hospital because I couldn't wait for my first breakfast after popping out Egg at 6am. I was so damn hungry. Today, at five months and change post partum, I'm hanging out at 131 pounds. Still more than I should weigh for my build, but I have massive titties and a baby to feed. I'm still hungry, but it isn't an all-consuming need at this point. Egg now weighs about 17 pounds and as long as he continues to nurse I could give a shit about what I weigh. I'll worry about that when Egg is weaned and I'm not trying to provide calories for two people.
The End
P.S. You do realize the titties from the sunburned post are only that big because I'm nursing Egg, right?
May I introduce: My Weight, The Slightly Shorter Version But Still Entirely Too Damn Long
I started out my pregnancy with Egg at 135 pounds. By four weeks along, also known as when I missed my period, I weighed 140 pounds. This is REALLY BIG for me, in case you were wondering. I'm 5'4" when I stand up really tall and I am small boned. By 8 weeks into my pregnancy I was back at 135 pounds. At 37 weeks (or so) I was at 147 pounds. I got sick and dropped back down to 145 pounds. The day I went into labor I weighed 145 pounds. (Yes, there is a labor and delivery story in my head bugging me, too. You'll get it. Just be patient.)
So! 145 pound Sam delivers a 7 pound 7 ounce baby plus whatever else comes out of my cooterus during my hospital stay. I come home about 30 hours after delivering Egg and smugly step on the scale because I AM A FUCKING IDIOT. Also? Who lets a one day postpartum woman step on a fucking scale? Stupid fucking idiots, that's who. Wanna guess how much I weighed? Exactly the same. THE SAME. I pushed a 7lb 7oz baby out of my fucking hoo haw and probably a placenta or twelve and I FUCKING WEIGHED THE SAME. What. The. Fuckity. Fuck?! It boggles the tiny little mind I posess to this day.
Now, I understand that medication blah blah IV blah blah bloating etc. but really? The same weight? Not a pound less or more. The same. It kills me. Then I started producing milk like some dairy cow all hopped up on hormones, Egg drinks like a champ and within two weeks I was at 128lbs. The breastfeeding hunger consumed me and my attitude about food changed completely. You see, by the end of my pregnancy I hated food. I looked at fat people and thought, "How the fuck did you get so damn fat? Food is nasty shit and you ate so much you got fat." After two weeks of not being pregnant this attitude had changed and I was starting to wonder how any of us don't weight 650lbs because fuck me food is good shit.
My total hatred of chocolate disappeared within hours of giving birth. I had TB raiding the snack machines at the hospital because I couldn't wait for my first breakfast after popping out Egg at 6am. I was so damn hungry. Today, at five months and change post partum, I'm hanging out at 131 pounds. Still more than I should weigh for my build, but I have massive titties and a baby to feed. I'm still hungry, but it isn't an all-consuming need at this point. Egg now weighs about 17 pounds and as long as he continues to nurse I could give a shit about what I weigh. I'll worry about that when Egg is weaned and I'm not trying to provide calories for two people.
The End
P.S. You do realize the titties from the sunburned post are only that big because I'm nursing Egg, right?
posted by Sam at
11:27 PM
10 Comments:
I don't get it either. I can tell you it was likely almost all water weight, like you said IV fluids and the extra blood volume you had moving into tissue space etc. That probably doesn't make you feel much better though. As far as your weight even though I'm fairly large framed I have to admit to a bit of envy. I don't think I've seen 130 since the 7th fucking grade.
Cooterus. Favorite word. Anywho, this whole being pregnant and having babies and stuff just messes with everything. I am almost 3 years post partum and am only NOW beginning to get back to some semblance of my former self. And yes, I think we all get that your ladies are enhanced at the moment. Enjoy em while you got em!
Hey Sam! I had something similar with my 1st pregnancy. During ahem 'morning sickness' that lasted 5 months and was thruout the day, I managaed to lose weight. Also all kinds of other ails happened (bronchitis to name one). By delivery day I had gained a hefty number of pounds tho, had a huge belly.I'd say at least 25-30 #s.
Then a 36 hour delivery ending up in a c-section and a botched epidural, which then caused me having this spinal headache for over a week.
The week in the hospital I couldn't keep anything down, even fucking chamomille tea was unwelcome in my tummy. Really fun time!
I came home finally after 8 days and when I weight myself, it was less than before got pregnant! Wtf?
I keep it off until I got pregnant with baby no. 2 (planned) 7 months later.
Sam,
Water. The delivery was a stress on your body, almost like a beating or wreck. And fluids didn't get handled as well as they should, as they normally do. The buildup was stuff waiting to disperse.
Your doctor might have intervened, I imagine, with forced fluids or even IVs to overcome the expected swelling associated with delivery, but this is expected, natural, and as happened with you, is mild enough for the body to handle without problems.
Nursing is strenuous, I don't think many people realize that simple truth. Nursing is the reason women are build to put on weight - it is Nature's way of providing resources to make the milk that Egg needs.
I don't know how long you intend to nurse - I understand the natural cycle, as opposed to the post Dr. Spock book, so-called "civilized" world, that the average for natural weaning is three to four years. And that continued and vigorous breast feeding is a form of natural birth control. Well, that and "Sleep on the couch! Don't you dare touch me!". Ahem.
As Egg matures, and starts taking on more nutrition from food directly, the drain on your reserves - what is keeping your weight down now - is going to decrease, gradually. What is going to be affected much less is the habit of eating for this peak lactation period. Walking regularly will be good for you, will help your body restore a healthy balance, and help keep your appetite in line with your needs.
For the moment, you might try adding some fats - vegetable oil - to your diet, about two (2) ounces or so a day, total fats. Add a tablespoon of salad oil to a salad, or just straight in the morning. The concentration of calories, and the fat source, will be easy to digest, and meet your needs for energy. It might divert some of the general craving things, too. Chocolate is muchly fats added to cacao - but the caffeine probably isn't the best to be spiking your metabolism and appetite with. Plus there is the habit-forming part that will bite you later in the . . . ahem, again.
Watch your health condition, and Egg, for now. The scale can come later.
Blessed be!
I am still 5+ lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight almost 3 years later. I didn't even grow a full cup size, and I nursed for a full year. So, you and your huge tits suck.
(and do not believe Brad K. about nursing being natural birth control. It may keep away that annoying period, but you do still ovulate.)
I think you're going to need to take another pic of the boobies. I couldn't really tell how big they were.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Tobiwan,
I agree that there cannot be too many pictures of boobies.
But your argument seems really, really lame.
I was so sick when I was pregnant that I hated food, too. Then I delivered. And I was STARVING.
My midwife thinks that my body was so deprived of nutrients that I just had to eat to replenish the system. I have gained 35 lbs. while breastfeeding. I am weaning this week, and I in my fantasy world the weight just melts off in two months. (Hahahaha!)
Those boobs probably weigh 7.5 lbs a piece, yo.
Ah, well.
I started out at 110 pounds, topped out at just shy of 180 pounds and lost it all. How's that for a boring story?
But my tittys didn't work, so they were never especially spectacular. :)
Oh, and yes, you can tell in the photos from the big ass veins on them. Screams 'milk truck'!
g
PS. I do own you for your one handed typing wisdom. You are The Woman, because you still managed to use punctuation.
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