My Kid Is An Asshole
No, not the super cute smallish one. The big one. The big one with the super big attitude that goes with being twelve and on the verge of thirteen. You might say, "Oh Sam, Chicken is GREAT! He is not an asshole. How can you call your kid an asshole?! There is something terribly wrong with you!" To which I reply, "Fuck you. You know not of my pain." However, since I have a blog, I will tell you of my pain. Then you will agree that my Chicken is an asshole.
Chicken just finished seventh grade at a local charter school. During the school year he completed Algebra I and 85% of Geometry. This lead to an issue for next year, as I want him to attend the regular middle school near our house next year. This school changing is worth a whole post, so I shall not get into it today. The problem is that I don't want to make Chicken take Geometry all over next year at the pace of a traditional middle school, but I want him to have a thorough understanding of the subject. In addition, the local middle school does not offer Algebra II. TB and I spend much time and debate and phone calls and office visits to figure out a solution to this problem. MUCH TIME. AND ENERGY. MUCH!!
The solution: Chicken will not take math in eighth grade. He will be a teacher's assistant in a math class instead. He will take Algebra II at night at the local community college. I will be there with him. That way Chicken will not be bored out of his mind all year. Also, I purchased four workbooks for him to do over the summer, which will complete his Geometry I class. Today we started the first workbook. After a bit of fussing I said, "If you don't do this you will have to spend ALL YEAR taking geometry at XX middle school." Five minutes later Chicken says, "Okay. I will take Geometry next year."
WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK???!! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? After all the, "Am I going to take him to the high school every morning to take math and wait while he is in class with a baby in the car and then take him to the middle school and even when my fibro says FUUUUUCK which it likes to do in the morning? Or should he not take math or should he do this or that and after FIVE MINUTES he says WAAAAH like a big fucking baby? HELLS NO. You are going to sit the fuck there and do this or I am going to stick my foot so far up your ass that you are going to trim my toenails with your teeth."
*Thanks to Neighbor Lady for the foot up ass/toenails/teeth saying.
**Alternate title: Why I Can Never Home School Chicken Because He is a Bastard
Post Script: I retired to my office to poop and write this post. Five minutes later my legs were asleep and Chicken shows up with completed work in hand. Asshole.
Chicken just finished seventh grade at a local charter school. During the school year he completed Algebra I and 85% of Geometry. This lead to an issue for next year, as I want him to attend the regular middle school near our house next year. This school changing is worth a whole post, so I shall not get into it today. The problem is that I don't want to make Chicken take Geometry all over next year at the pace of a traditional middle school, but I want him to have a thorough understanding of the subject. In addition, the local middle school does not offer Algebra II. TB and I spend much time and debate and phone calls and office visits to figure out a solution to this problem. MUCH TIME. AND ENERGY. MUCH!!
The solution: Chicken will not take math in eighth grade. He will be a teacher's assistant in a math class instead. He will take Algebra II at night at the local community college. I will be there with him. That way Chicken will not be bored out of his mind all year. Also, I purchased four workbooks for him to do over the summer, which will complete his Geometry I class. Today we started the first workbook. After a bit of fussing I said, "If you don't do this you will have to spend ALL YEAR taking geometry at XX middle school." Five minutes later Chicken says, "Okay. I will take Geometry next year."
WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK???!! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? After all the, "Am I going to take him to the high school every morning to take math and wait while he is in class with a baby in the car and then take him to the middle school and even when my fibro says FUUUUUCK which it likes to do in the morning? Or should he not take math or should he do this or that and after FIVE MINUTES he says WAAAAH like a big fucking baby? HELLS NO. You are going to sit the fuck there and do this or I am going to stick my foot so far up your ass that you are going to trim my toenails with your teeth."
*Thanks to Neighbor Lady for the foot up ass/toenails/teeth saying.
**Alternate title: Why I Can Never Home School Chicken Because He is a Bastard
Post Script: I retired to my office to poop and write this post. Five minutes later my legs were asleep and Chicken shows up with completed work in hand. Asshole.
Labels: Chicken, My Pussy Hurts, School
posted by Sam at
10:30 AM
4 Comments:
Mine's a pain in the ass too. When do you get to ship him off to his fathers? Haha!
Kids just like to make their parents stress out. He sounds like he's to smart for his own good though. Or your own good.
Um...perhaps he's feeling a bit of pressure? Or maybe he doesn't want to do geometry on summer vacation? I'd be an asshole too, if someone made me do geometry. Well, actually, I aced geometry with no effort and got in trouble in the class all the time. But seriously, if the school doesn't offer the class he needs, and he's going to be taking it elsewhere, and he's transferring? Serious angst for the teen/pre-teen...he will be Different, and everyone knows that is not allowed.
LMAO. You poor thing. I am not looking forward to Jackson's teenage years. The husband and I were both huge asshole know-it-alls as teens and I'm sure we probably passed that along.
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