House Hunting Tips 101-599
1. Bring a pregnant woman with you when viewing a house that is not brand new. She will be able to smell piss (human, cat, and dog varieties) in the carpet from a mile away. This goes for dog smell, too.
2. If you are the seller, make sure your overweight elderly neighbor doesn't sit on his front porch half naked and stare at prospective buyers with his cranky old wife at his side.
3. If you are the seller, make sure your twenty-something neighbor doesn't spend the whole time a prospective buyer is at the home riding his tiny dirt bike in front of the house, doing wheelies and general douchebaggery without a helmet.
4. If you are house hunting in a foreclosure market, be prepared for some crazy ass shit. For example:
A) Viewing a house that is lacking any appliances, door knobs, light switches, A/C controls, ceiling fans, doorbells, mirrors, etc. They fucking took the door knobs. In every door. Who the fuck takes the door knobs?
B) Viewing a house that has a doggie door cut into a closet through the wall to the outside under a shelf in a corner. I wish I had a camera for that one.
C) Viewing a house that "needs some paint" when a demolition crew is more applicable.
D) Walking out of a house and wondering if the neighbors knew how fucked up the previous homeowners were.
We've seen a lot of random shit this week. The housing market has tanked and many people bought houses beyond their means on shaky mortgages. This means a shit-ton of foreclosures, low prices, and a lot of sifting through the debris for a golden ticket. The "cash for keys" options has resulted in some of the houses being left in good condition. This is where the homeowners are offered a perk in order to leave the house peacefully and in good order. It is hard for me to understand the fucking disaster some of these homeowners left behind, showing long term neglect and just plain nasty living.
I noticed something while viewing houses. A few houses were in decent condition and yet gave me such a bad feeling that I could not possibly live in them. Chicken described it as a claustrophobic feeling, he said the houses seemed to close in on him. One was bad enough that even Teddy Bear left the house feeling unsettled. It makes me wonder what happened in these houses to leave such an imprint. On the other hand one house felt like home, while another one felt completely neutral. It was strange.
Have you ever been in a place where you felt like something bad wrong went down? Or like there was something hanging out there that you couldn't see? I've been in a few places like that, but this week was the most strong I've felt in a long time. Maybe it is the hormones, or maybe the houses were especially fucked up because the foreclosure tore the family apart. I don't know. It gives me the creeps.
2. If you are the seller, make sure your overweight elderly neighbor doesn't sit on his front porch half naked and stare at prospective buyers with his cranky old wife at his side.
3. If you are the seller, make sure your twenty-something neighbor doesn't spend the whole time a prospective buyer is at the home riding his tiny dirt bike in front of the house, doing wheelies and general douchebaggery without a helmet.
4. If you are house hunting in a foreclosure market, be prepared for some crazy ass shit. For example:
A) Viewing a house that is lacking any appliances, door knobs, light switches, A/C controls, ceiling fans, doorbells, mirrors, etc. They fucking took the door knobs. In every door. Who the fuck takes the door knobs?
B) Viewing a house that has a doggie door cut into a closet through the wall to the outside under a shelf in a corner. I wish I had a camera for that one.
C) Viewing a house that "needs some paint" when a demolition crew is more applicable.
D) Walking out of a house and wondering if the neighbors knew how fucked up the previous homeowners were.
We've seen a lot of random shit this week. The housing market has tanked and many people bought houses beyond their means on shaky mortgages. This means a shit-ton of foreclosures, low prices, and a lot of sifting through the debris for a golden ticket. The "cash for keys" options has resulted in some of the houses being left in good condition. This is where the homeowners are offered a perk in order to leave the house peacefully and in good order. It is hard for me to understand the fucking disaster some of these homeowners left behind, showing long term neglect and just plain nasty living.
I noticed something while viewing houses. A few houses were in decent condition and yet gave me such a bad feeling that I could not possibly live in them. Chicken described it as a claustrophobic feeling, he said the houses seemed to close in on him. One was bad enough that even Teddy Bear left the house feeling unsettled. It makes me wonder what happened in these houses to leave such an imprint. On the other hand one house felt like home, while another one felt completely neutral. It was strange.
Have you ever been in a place where you felt like something bad wrong went down? Or like there was something hanging out there that you couldn't see? I've been in a few places like that, but this week was the most strong I've felt in a long time. Maybe it is the hormones, or maybe the houses were especially fucked up because the foreclosure tore the family apart. I don't know. It gives me the creeps.
posted by Sam at
10:42 PM
7 Comments:
Every now and then I'll catch a whiff of old people when I walk in the house. It's so creepy. You'd think that taking down all the curtains and replacing the carpet would take of the geriatric funk, but noooooo.
My husband (then boyfriend) took me to Mexico City. There is a part of the square that is a famous/huge pawn shop. We went in thinking about these great deals on jewelry we could get. But everything we saw just looked like broken dreams. Couldn't even ask to see something out of the display table, it was so sad and uneasy. It felt like shopping for bad luck.
ur preachin to the choir. i have seen some shit. literally... smeared across walls.
we bought a rental prop with weird feelings in it. I could never live in it. It's been a successful purchase, but the eneregy in that place , to me... whew... hard to spend time in it. Obviously, I don't list weird energy as one of it's perks when I list it for rent....
Yes, I know exactly what you mean, being a seasoned renter. You see some crazy shit out there. I remember going into one place where there was locks on the outside of the bedrooms doors and just being creeped out. Another one I remember, all the door handles were about a metre from the floor - freakishly low. We referred to that one as "Stumpy's house."
We went to see this one house where the family had just put the old grandma into a nursing home. They had been going thrugh all of her shit and it was allllll over the floors and everywhere. We got the weirdest feeling there...no matter how many lights we turned on it stayed dark and depressing.
Also, when I was a kid, my 13 year old neighbor got shot by another kid in his house. Every time someone new bought the house, I always thought about how they had no idea that a child was murdered there. Ugh. Talk about a bad feeling.
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I hadn't thought about the feeling houses give you. When I bought mine it was near the peak of the upswing and so what I was looking at in my price range was mostly just gross. I have been places before that just give me the creeps. Years ago my great grandma had rooms in her house that gave me the willies.
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