Names And Insufferable Cuteness

*pregnancy post warning for those visiting from NCLM*

My current last name starts with the letter S and for simplicities sake I'll just say that it is Smith. I specify current last name because I've had, oh let's see...FOUR freakin' last names in my lifetime. Currently my name looks like this: Sam, Maiden Name, Teddy Bear's last name. I replaced my former middle name with my maiden name due to my issues with losing my dad and blah blah baggage.

This is a typical, long-winded patented Sam way of starting a little story about names. When Teddy Bear was in his mommy's tummy, all ten plus fucking pounds of him, (don't even get me started on his family history of birthing HUGE babies) his parents wanted to name him something that started with an A, then an S, then his last name that we'll call Smith. Do you see the problem? Yeah, no one wants to have their initials spell ASS.

Unless, of course, you are a sixth-grade boy and your mother is pregnant and you have the opportunity to nickname the grain of rice residing in her stomach. I really wanted to use the reader suggestion of Egg on my blog, just to answer the question of what came first for once and all, but the Chicken's nickname kicks ass. No pun intended. He nicknamed it Adrienne Stephanie Smith.

He talks about Adrienne Stephanie a lot, anything to get the name in because sixth-graders are all about beating a fucking horse to death. I'm just immature enough to still be amused every time. Until today when I was on my ass in bed and he asked where my uterus currently was and then got close and TALKED to Adrienne Stephanie. He said he'd kiss "her" but she was too close to my parts at this point and GROSS. Which I totally agree with, but I was too busy trying my damndest not to cry to think about anything. It was so damn cute.