Back Away From The Cervix
I finally went to the doctor today and had my first appointment. I can't tell you how much I missed having not only my hoo-ha invaded by metal, my cervix scraped with something that resembles a fucking RAKE and then a couple of fingers groping around. GAH! The doctor said that my ute feels at least as pregnant as I say I am, and maybe ahead a little bit. Considering the specifically timed nookie either she's a nutjob, the damn thing is ALREADY big like TB, or there is more than one occupant. I vote for nutjob because the other two options suck ass. I did wrangle a referral to the ultrasound place and later called and made an appointment for Friday. I will feel much better after seeing a heartbeat.
The pukey feeling is still much milder than it was, but the fatigue is brutal. The fibro pain is bad when I wake up (which is often), but not horrible during the day. It is managable. Tomorrow I am going to the Del Mar Fair (shut up I will never call it the San Diego Fair, that is bullshit). I am going with my mother, Chicken, and Jesus. Chicken's best friend's name is really Jesus. We call him the Son of God sometimes. We're a little immature. Jesus calls Chicken a derivative of his real name, but with a girly twist. They're an excellent match and have a shitload of fun together.
I'm nervous about spending the day wtih my mother. One, because it's my mother and that is a fucking chore in itself. Two, because my mom doesn't know that I'm knocked up and I REALLY don't want to tell her. I have no idea what her reaction will be, but based on previous conversations I am not counting on it being good. After I had Chicken my mom strongly recommneded that I get my tubes tied. What doctor is going to do that when I had one child at home and I was only 22?
Several times over the years she has either talked to me about the tubal OR getting a hysterectomy. The hysterectomy because I have crappy periods that tend to be painful. Not like endometriosis, just a little miserable. So take out my uterus, right? CRAZY. She got a hysterectomy when I was six months old. According to her it was because the doctor told her not to have any more children. According to my secret source, it was because she wanted to be damn sure never to have any more children. She didn't want anymore-when I was six months old. Can you imagine? No baggage here people!!
My mother loves Chicken, but she has issues. I know better than to expect her to be excited about this pregnancy but it always hurts a little when she reacts crappily. Some of you are probably asking, "Why do you want to tell her now?" The answer is that I am getting to the point where I am having trouble hiding it for long periods of time. My lower abdomen is all fat, my boobs are bigger and eating is a chore. The only reason that I am going tomorrow (instead of letting Chicken go without me) is that I have never been to the Del Mar Fair with him and next year I will hopefully have a sixth month old baby. Not a recipe for a day of fun with a fucking zillion people.
I loved the Del Mar Fair as a child. LOVED IT. I want to share the experience with my favoritist Chicken in the world. I hope that tomorrow is fun and I can tune out any negative energy spewing from my mother. Maybe she'll be hapy for me? HA HA HA.
The pukey feeling is still much milder than it was, but the fatigue is brutal. The fibro pain is bad when I wake up (which is often), but not horrible during the day. It is managable. Tomorrow I am going to the Del Mar Fair (shut up I will never call it the San Diego Fair, that is bullshit). I am going with my mother, Chicken, and Jesus. Chicken's best friend's name is really Jesus. We call him the Son of God sometimes. We're a little immature. Jesus calls Chicken a derivative of his real name, but with a girly twist. They're an excellent match and have a shitload of fun together.
I'm nervous about spending the day wtih my mother. One, because it's my mother and that is a fucking chore in itself. Two, because my mom doesn't know that I'm knocked up and I REALLY don't want to tell her. I have no idea what her reaction will be, but based on previous conversations I am not counting on it being good. After I had Chicken my mom strongly recommneded that I get my tubes tied. What doctor is going to do that when I had one child at home and I was only 22?
Several times over the years she has either talked to me about the tubal OR getting a hysterectomy. The hysterectomy because I have crappy periods that tend to be painful. Not like endometriosis, just a little miserable. So take out my uterus, right? CRAZY. She got a hysterectomy when I was six months old. According to her it was because the doctor told her not to have any more children. According to my secret source, it was because she wanted to be damn sure never to have any more children. She didn't want anymore-when I was six months old. Can you imagine? No baggage here people!!
My mother loves Chicken, but she has issues. I know better than to expect her to be excited about this pregnancy but it always hurts a little when she reacts crappily. Some of you are probably asking, "Why do you want to tell her now?" The answer is that I am getting to the point where I am having trouble hiding it for long periods of time. My lower abdomen is all fat, my boobs are bigger and eating is a chore. The only reason that I am going tomorrow (instead of letting Chicken go without me) is that I have never been to the Del Mar Fair with him and next year I will hopefully have a sixth month old baby. Not a recipe for a day of fun with a fucking zillion people.
I loved the Del Mar Fair as a child. LOVED IT. I want to share the experience with my favoritist Chicken in the world. I hope that tomorrow is fun and I can tune out any negative energy spewing from my mother. Maybe she'll be hapy for me? HA HA HA.
Labels: Chicken, My Mother, My Pussy Hurts, Preggo
posted by Sam at
10:57 PM
10 Comments:
Glad the doc is happy with what is going on. Hope you can think of a way to mess with your mom over the signs-o-pregnancy thing at Del Mar. Because her job of being a mom isn't over. She still has to deal with a smart ass kid. At least that's what I tell my own mom.
As long as Chicken doesn't spill the beans, you can blame the pregnancy symptoms on a crappy burrito or something.
I agree with you about the fair, that's totally lame that they re-named it! It'll always be the Del Mar Fair to me as well. :P
As for telling your mom, don't tell her if you don't want to. I didn't tell my parents at Christmas (thought they'd guess...I was wrong)..and I had all the symptoms...sick all the time, no alcohol or caffiene, I thought it was pretty obvious. But, people can be pretty blind.
If you want to tell, go for it.. but don't feel pressure to do so unless you wish to.
Aw, just tell the old hag you got into some gluten and leave it at that--she doesn't seem like the type to look past her own nose anyway and while I guess it would be impolitic to lie if she straight-up ASKED you "Sam are you perchance PREGNANT?" questions like "have your tits gotten bigger or is it just me" can be addressed with "isn't this bra FABULOUS? But Mother, not in front of THE CHILDREN!"
The reason I say this is that it sounds like a good time will be had by all UNLESS you tell her and she reacts as predicted (with less than appropriate happiness for you and TB) and why ruin a fun day at the fair when you can always tell her AFTER the u/s. Because if there's one thing that worries me more about your mother reacting to the news that you're pregnant in some hugely inappropriate manner it's the way she might react if she knew and then you miscarried (I'm sure your imagination can go there just fine without MY help...). And then I'd have to fly my gimp ass out there and bitch-slap her, and I really don't feel up to it. Consider it a personal favor, okay?
YAY for an appropriately-sized (or potentially OVERsized--beats UNDERsized) ute and all appendages crossed for NOT TWINS. If worst comes to worst and you are gestating a Butterball turkey in there...well...how do I say this delicately...I've seen you and I've seen TB and maybe a c-section wouldn't be the WORST thing in the world, all things considered (*shudder*--you're a braver woman than I to voluntarily bear the offspring of a Wookie). AHEM.
Anyway I'm VERY optimistic on your behalf (especially since I never really got that magical remission you hear about--if you did in your previous pregnancies bear in mind that youth is great for the old health--my pregnancy at twenty-six was MUCH harder on me physically than my pregnancy at twenty-one, and my OBGYN even had the audacity to point out that I wasn't, you know, getting any YOUNGER and perhaps ought to just put my feet up a bit more). Just a bonus MOTHERFUCKER of a flare as soon as the placenta detached. HAVE FUN WITH THAT in another thirty or so weeks, knock wood!
Glad to hear the doctor's appointment went well! (I'll cross my fingers for nutjob as well.)
Hope you can keep your pg status under wraps for at least one more day... and hope they have lots of gluten free fair food for you. (Probably unlikely, but worth a shot!)
I hope you all had a good day at the fair. I am anxiously awaiting hearing how your mother behaved.
Ditto Daisy, I hope the fair went well. Did anyone accidently spill the beans about you being preggo?
As far as I'm concerned, it will never be the San Diego Fair.
Many fond memories I have of that place. I miss SD sometimes *sigh*, but I sure don't miss the line of traffic it generates!
Ok cya.
HHMMMMMM
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