The Innernet Sucketh
My due date, carefully calculated by the Innernets and my cycle, is January 25, 2009. While I think that is a fabulous thing (the innernet giving me a due date) I am slightly not happy about it. The last really fucked up miscarriage I had was before I got knocked up with the Chicken and I had not yet gotten a due date (long story for another post). Therefore, there was no "OMG I would have had a baby on XYZ" date.
As the new car smell wore off of my uterus MANY years ago I don't have that "oh of course I'll have a baby in January. I'll probably deliver on my due date and I will smell like roses the whole fucking time" mentality. Nope. I am going to relax and take care of myself, but I'd be lying if I wasn't checking for blood every time I visit the bathroom. I just don't want to get blindsided by badness, and this pregnancy is about two minutes old.
Bitching aside, want to hear something that is AWESOME? The first date of my last period, a day that I will have to tell a million fucking people over the next few weeks/months/etc. is April 20th. That's right people. I'm carrying a 420 baby. I'm that cool.
As the new car smell wore off of my uterus MANY years ago I don't have that "oh of course I'll have a baby in January. I'll probably deliver on my due date and I will smell like roses the whole fucking time" mentality. Nope. I am going to relax and take care of myself, but I'd be lying if I wasn't checking for blood every time I visit the bathroom. I just don't want to get blindsided by badness, and this pregnancy is about two minutes old.
Bitching aside, want to hear something that is AWESOME? The first date of my last period, a day that I will have to tell a million fucking people over the next few weeks/months/etc. is April 20th. That's right people. I'm carrying a 420 baby. I'm that cool.
posted by Sam at
4:21 PM
10 Comments:
NO, you are that big of a fucking jr. high school dork!!!!!
Congrats dork!!
too funny...
peace...
Heh... 420. That's funny.
You know, my due date with Dough was 1/24. He came out 1/10. With a little help from Mr. Scalpel.
I'm still crapping myself that you are pregnant. I mean I totally expected it, but it's so freakin' exciting! Yeee Haw!
Sam - That is great news. I hope all good things come your way!
I only mentioned to The Patriarch that y'all kids were gonna try to make a small person like, LAST WEEK. Then yesterday I told him you were pregnant and was like "ALREADY??? WHAT IS SHE, SOME KIND OF RABBIT???" Dude was IMPRESSED. He said "but she's...NOT YOUNG...I thought for sure I would have to offer my services..." (yeah har har har we had three kids in four years, must be HIS rampant fertility--after the first time he impregnated his endometriosis-riddled wife, who was actually on The Pill at the time, he started trying to get me to offer friends like "Tigger" who had fertility issues his MAGIC SPERM, which makes him an even bigger douche canoe--more of a douche QE2, than you already knew he was). Then I said "hey, asshole, first of all what makes you think Sam's youthful husband would fail to impregnate her but your midlife-cris-having sperm would do the job, EH? The little SPORTS CARS? Second of all YOU HAD A VASECTOMY, IF ANYONE WANTED ANY OF YOUR SPERM THEY'D HAVE TO CARVE A WEDGE OUT OF ONE OF YOUR HUEVOS!" He looked crestfallen, like that vasectomy was the only thing keeping his sperm away from MY Cooter Pal (I think it would actually be the FOURTH line of defense, TB and I being the first and second, and your feelings in the matter being the third). Pig. So if TB does that thing men do when they lose their shit as they contemplate impending fatherhood (give him a few months) and want to either work THREE JOBS or else beat the holy hell out of something? Put him on a plane headed East and I'll hand over my husband on a silver platter (are Wookies carnivores?).
what's 420?
Yeah, the 420 joke was lost on me too, I will have to consult Urban Dictionary.
Meanwhile, CONGRATULATIONS SAM!
Ok, I saw your twitter. But what is the thought process? Mysterious.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Wishing you all the best.
HUGS!!!!
YAY! Congrats Sam & TB!
LOL, 420.
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