Happy Day
Teddy Bear was fucking around with a disk of some sort, rather excitedly burning an album I thought. Maybe the Kate Nash CD that I kindly gave to a friend and now needed a new one? Au contraire mon frère! TB said "I got this movie for you for [ridiculous Hallmark day that is today]" and then he put it in the media center PC and I saw the following image emblazoned onto our television:
He went on to say in a dry narrators voice:
He went on to say in a dry narrators voice:
"Heather Brooke runs an amateur website I Deep Throat and is fairly well known for her talents. This is an instructional video she created."He says with all the sincerity that he can muster, all the while attempting not to laugh his ass off at the OMFGWTFBBQ look on my face. Luckily for me, the video does not seem to work. Also? I do not have a huge (or medium or small or ANY) dildo to practice on so I guess he's just going to have to keep imagining deep throated blow jobs now isn't he? Fucking douche canoe.
Labels: Stupid Twats, Teddy Bear, WTF
posted by Sam at
9:47 PM
6 Comments:
1. Uhhhm...I thought you already knew how to do that (shut up, you mentioned it when you announced y'all's marriage in the case of characters page)...
2. Wow. And I thought it was bad that The Patriarch didn't produce my key lime pie until almost nine at night, meaning that I did NOT get to eat it for brunch as I had counted upon in my mind to make myself get out of bed. See, you two still have that newlywed-in-love thang going, cuz I woulda kilt a motherfucker up in here had he made the egregious error in judgment of presenting me with such a thing for Hallmark Holiday, or ANY holiday.
Sam, Sam, Sam. I imagine it was either the personalized, burned-to-DVD training video or a new set of Craftsmen tools. Well, maybe a 12 foot aluminum boat with an 8 horse Evinrudem with trailer.
But, talk about your gift that keeps on giving! And now you have gift ideas for Father's day! You just have to choose between a gorgeous pyrex dildo or a used weed wacker!
Happy Monday!
you don't have a dildo?
Huh.... I suppose you could get him a DVD in return - with instructions for how to please? the female gender - this video could show the how to on a blowup doll.
This post does nothing for me. It adds nothing to my knowledge of the strangeness of the two of you. Nothing you can say about the two of you surprises me.
Wait, I take that back. I do love the phrase douche canoe. Please know I am taking it. Using it. Rubbing it on myself and then napping with it.
Also I will send you a dildo. It will be slightly used. Is that ok? I am all about recycling now. Reduce, reuse. It's my motto.
For everything.
you two are definitely made for each other, that's for sure.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home