Random Conversation
When we have company (rarely) the Teddy Bear and the Chicken tend to show off their stuff a bit. Eliza, sitting innocently on the couch eating her Greek salad was not prepared for the onslaught of nastiness this evening. Teddy Bear was instructing Chicken on what to pack for an overnight when the subject of condoms came up. Eliza choked, looked a bit ill, screamed "God-dammit y'all I am from the South," and Chicken deftly proclaimed that "His friend's mother, great-grandmother or three little sisters were not an option." Where I added that condoms were necessary for butt sex as well as the penis-in-vagina type.
Aaaaaaaaannnnnd! Here is my teaching moment:
"Chicken, you need condoms for butt sex as well as sex involving a vagina. Can you tell me why?"
"Because of STD's. And also because you don't want to get shit in your pee hole."
"It is called your urethra, young man," Teddy Bear intones. "If he takes sex ed in school he must use the proper names."
Aaaaaaaaannnnnd! Here is my teaching moment:
"Chicken, you need condoms for butt sex as well as sex involving a vagina. Can you tell me why?"
"Because of STD's. And also because you don't want to get shit in your pee hole."
"It is called your urethra, young man," Teddy Bear intones. "If he takes sex ed in school he must use the proper names."
Labels: Chicken, Eliza, Penis, Teddy Bear
posted by Sam at
6:42 PM
9 Comments:
Ok, but i have a question: did eliza go on to finish her salad? because that conversation would have pretty much killed my appetite.
no wonder you don't have company over a lot.
kudos to chicken for being butt-sex conscious. he is well past me at his age.....
Eliza might not ever come back to visit. (or was that part of your devious plan??)
OMG OMG OMG. I have nothing to add I am speachless. I would have been dieing of laughter if I were there.
you SO are raising him right.
OH*MY*GOD!!!! That is TOOO FUNNY!!! I am laughing so hard, tears are streaming down my cheeks!!!
Did Eliza finish her salad?
NOW i get what you meant by the "better than poop in your pee hole" comment on my blog.
damn your kid is great.
Isn't chicken a bit too young to be packing condoms for an overnight???
Putting the cart in front of the horse I see. I laughed so hard I almost peed!!
Jeremy
Yes, I did finish the salad. When my body decides to let me eat NOTHING comes between me and my salad. Although I did have to pause for the duration of the conversation and laugh nervously in HORROR...I guess we do need to raise our kids to know these things and do not disagree with Sam's level of openness with the boy, but my oldest child is six and still has no clue where babies come from because AAAGGGGHHHHH!!! When the two-year-old was born the oldest DID ask how the baby was going to get out, but was satisfied with "I am going to go to the hospital then and Dr. X will take the baby out."
Yesterday, to my complete
and utter surprise, I read in a medical journal, that
4 out of 5 teens/20 somethings have an STD.
I felt very naive- Chicken
definitely has good points.
:)
Cathi
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