Two Years
My dad has been gone two years today. It is getting easier, most days.
Some days I wish she was gone instead. Is that bargaining? "Please, take her instead. Let's do take-backs on this one."
I suck.
Some days I wish she was gone instead. Is that bargaining? "Please, take her instead. Let's do take-backs on this one."
I suck.
Labels: My Dad, My Mother, Some Fucked Up Shit, Suck Ass
posted by Sam at
10:04 PM
9 Comments:
Sam, your feelings are what they are. You would only suck if you denied your feelings.
When feelings seem inappropriate or unusual.. Well, people can survive the darndest, most horrible, weirdest things. But keeping things in perspective most often takes a wise elder to help us understand what happened.
You will get there. Patience, and know you aren't the first to think awful things. The important thing is to keep sane, balanced people around to help figure out which actions (not feelings) are most helpful.
Blessed be.
You do not suck.
This might help you it helps me at least... My dad has been dead 4 years now and I still talk to him in my head. I feel like he is there listening to me and sympathizing with me.
One time I needed to find a tool in my garage. I had NO CLUE where it was and I feel my dad told me in my head where it was... It was in the one of the tool boxes underneath a hole bunch of boxes... Coincidence I dunno but it was there?
Your human and allowed to have the feelings you do.
I'm sending you warm thoughts. Wish we lived closer. I would give you a big ole hug.
you don't suck, your mom is pretty poisonous. Not to sounhd too Pollyannaish, but cherish the time you did have with your dad.
Reponded to your comment...
Sam, you have no idea how much I can relate to this post.
It will be 3 years since my dad died on 1/28. It still feels like a huge, gaping hole in my family. I don't know if it will ever go away.
If you suck for thinking that, then so do i! LOL
YOU.SO.DO.NOT.SUCK
ENUF SAID
You do not suck. Take care.
It's not called sucking. It's called human nature. Hey, if parents can secretly have a favorite child, why can't we outwardly have a favorite parent?
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