Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Hangin' Brains

Have you noticed that scary bedtime stories are no longer in style? Scaring your children into good behavior is not quite as acceptable as it once was, and parents today are left with the daunting task of finding something, anything, to make our children behave. When we can't scare them with Boogey Monsters living under the bed or in the closet, we can't beat the shit out of them with a stick, we can't lock them in their rooms without supper (for a couple of days) what can a politically correct parent do? I have found the perfect solution for boys aged 11-15! Cisco Balls. During the prepubescent and early puberty stages, boys will do simply anything to fit in with their peers. Does your son need to:
  • Clean his room
  • Wash his hair
  • Walk the dog
  • Do the dishes
  • Do his homework
  • Turn off that damn rock music
Then you need Cisco Balls. Patented balls of doom and dismay, these balls will guarantee complete obedience from sons, step-sons, and the little red-headed boy down the street that walks funny and has a lisp. What better threat than "If you don't do as I say RIGHT NOW your balls are going to look like Cisco Adler's before you are 30 years old!" Are you ready to see this innovative product? I bet you are!

This link is NSFW. Or children, or people with morals, taste or a righteous fear of Satan. Click HERE.

*BTW, Cisco Adler is 29 years old according to multiple innernet sources.

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8 Comments:

Anonymous Eliza said...

Baby jesus. Weeping. ALL your fault. Also, that man has a genetic syndrome and I bet he has no idea. I'm certainly not about to tell him. How could I ever look those balls in the face? Never.

5:46 PM  
Blogger terri c said...

Oh. My. God. You know what is the MOST GROSS about that picture? It is the posture/attitude that says, "I am GOD'S GIFT." Not. I dunno, Eliza, maybe it is not genetic. Maybe someone had him by the short hairs and pulled. Hard.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Osbasso said...

All of a sudden, I'm thinking of Clackers...

10:38 PM  
Blogger The Dummy said...

I don't want to look and forever scar my brain, so I'm going to take your word for it!

7:41 AM  
Blogger The Real Kidd said...

OH MY EYES!

12:21 PM  
Blogger aughra said...

Holy shit. I saw balls like that once, on an 80something emphysemic whom I cared for at the nursing home. His name was Leo, and when he hugged you he would sneak a touch at side-boob.

5:36 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

I just had to go and click, didn't I? Now I have to bleach my eyes.

7:52 PM  
Blogger Virginia Belle said...

almost as offensive as his balls is the fact that he left his socks on.

sorry. i'm weird about socks when associated with anything sexual. socks are not sexy. ever. in any way.

not that his balls are, either.

*shudders*

1:16 PM  

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