Why Is The Peacock Green?

Hi. I am drunk. Drunk and blogging and soon to hit the "Publish" button. So now is my time to type all the things that I would not be inclined to say sober. Or ever. Here is my list:

1. The NBC peacock logo thingy? It is green. All green. What the fuck is that about?
2. I have a new friend. Like, I actually talk to her on the phone friend. One of my in real life friends said "What the fuck? You are too sick to deal with the friends you have. Why would you go and make another friend?" To which I said, "She lives in another state. It requires not physical effort to be her friend." Unless, of course, you count the fact that I am flying to see her this summer be damned the costs.
3. Fuck. Stupid Teddy Bear interrupted my train of drunken thought and now I forgot what I was going to blog next. OH! I remember!
4. I found out tonight that my husband does not know how to type. I mean, he can type, and with the quickness, but not PROPERLY. He wanders across the keyboard like a drunken Sam. Me. Ha!
5. A friend of Teddy Bear's and his fiance (congrats!) are getting married. Duh, hence the fiance thing. Well, we have a problem. See, the friend is also friends with H3.2. Remember him? He is still nursing his wounds from the breakup of Summer 06 and cannot bear the thought of me or TB. And we are all invited. So, I decided that in the best interest of myself, that I should look DAMN FUCKING HOT at the wedding. Chicken and Teddy Bear thought that I should stuff my bra to look extra buxom. Ha!
6. My Chicken is failing his Advisement class. AKA homeroom. And Language Arts. He is actually failing just about every class when it comes to his homework grade. And he hid his report card for a month. Luckily (I think) he is super smart and with his test/classwork scores he averages out to a B or B+. But the lying? And hiding? My God I think I have a middle-schooler on my hands. And it is taking all the energy I have. Which is fabulous birth control. I am exhausted.
7. The Chicken. It requires two numbers because he is making me crazy. And I grounded the shit out of him. And he is making up every assignment regardless of the credit his teachers give him. I do not trust him anymore and I am so sad. Growing up sucks.
8. My arm is fucking killing me from holding it up to type and TB wants to watch Scrubs. I am having a horrible body week. I want a new body.
9. I don't appreciate TB enough. He is so kind and takes care of me and wonderful and loves me and I am grateful but I don't ACT grateful and I should. I think this whole "married three times" thing is working. The third time. I love my husband.
10. Yes, I totally love my husband. It should be its own number.

~Sam