Wanna Be Your Girlfriend
Last Thursday, Chicken approached me in private with a crazy gleam in his eye. He swore me to secrecy and then spilled the goods. Kristina, a fellow band member and a 7th grader (!) asked him to be her boyfriend through a complicated series of notes passed during band. My sweet boy wanted permission to have his first girlfriend. Then the conversation quickly turned on its ass.
Sam: Uh...do you know that she's a girl?
Chicken: (rolls eyes and sighs) Yes, mommy.
Sam: Uh...what exactly do you do with a girlfriend when you're ten years old?
Chicken: Don't worry mommy. I will use a condom and she'll probably be on the pill.
Sam: (chokes) Uh...(chokes) that's great. So, uh (chokes) will you guys hold hands at school and stuff?
Chicken: Ew! Gross!
Sam: (passes out from relief)
Sam: Uh...do you know that she's a girl?
Chicken: (rolls eyes and sighs) Yes, mommy.
Sam: Uh...what exactly do you do with a girlfriend when you're ten years old?
Chicken: Don't worry mommy. I will use a condom and she'll probably be on the pill.
Sam: (chokes) Uh...(chokes) that's great. So, uh (chokes) will you guys hold hands at school and stuff?
Chicken: Ew! Gross!
Sam: (passes out from relief)
posted by Sam at
4:45 PM
10 Comments:
Chicken likes the kitty.
AAAAAWWWWW!!! Chicken has a girlfriend. Your little man is growing up!!!
Oh. My. Gawd.
I can't ever have kids, I would have locked him up right then and there!!!
Sadly, he's still got a better grasp of things than I did until junior high!
OMG.
Awwww...a classic milestone!
I love it!
ummmm just wondering for what is he intending to use the rubber though??? Just wondering... or as in : fucking is great, holding hands and tongue kissing out of the question, like a lot of men in their 30's seem to think (I found out the hard way....)
done unpacking yet?
LOL, best talk ever!
I guess he's thinking he and his girlfriend will be playing the laying-down game? That's the game where the two of them lay down together on a bed and stare at the ceiling because nobody explained what you're supposed to do next.
LOL omg, that is the most hilarious conversation ever!
i didn't even know what "condoms" and "the pill" were when i was his age. but it's good that he already knows what he needs to have in order to be....uh, ready.
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