10 Years Younger
Have you ever seen the show Ten Years Younger? They take a person that is in dire need of some renovation, do a teeth whitening, facial peel, hair cut and color, makeup, wardrobe and BAM! they look ten years younger. Well, ladies and gentlemen, today that happened to me. Except I just showed up to school and commented to a fellow student that I graduated from school five years ago and she said "oh, high school?" and I said "uh.......... (cue internal monologue)
*Oh my GAWD does she think I'm 23? 'Cause that's what age graduating from high school five years ago would make me. What the fuck? Do I want to look THAT young? I don't know if that's a good thing or not. That would make me a person that was fucking (literally) at eleven or twelve to have a baby at just shy of thirteen and holy fuck that's kind of gross. I don't think I like this at all.*
So that's what happened on my first day of school. Oh, and don't forget that my school is nicknamed "CSU Stair Master" as opposed to the official CSU San Marcos due to the fuckall lot of stairs. I parked in a parking lot located in a different hemisphere and then had to walk up and down so many flights of stairs that my thighs felt like Jello at the end of the day. Did you know that "jello" is incorrect according to the powers that be behind Google spell check? Hmph.
Also, two of my classes (the only two I have attended thus far) have an online component that involves a discussion group. It is very similar to a big ole blog, but you have to use your grammar skills and shit. Without saying "shit" and other slang terms. You're actually EXPECTED to comment and I so dearly want to say the following things:
In another school setting, Chicken is promoted to Advanced Band. This is good and bad. Good, because he will likely have to work to keep up with his 7th and 8th grade classmates and I believe at least one class should challenge him. Bad, because he started out the year in Beginning Band (Monday) and was switched yesterday (Wednesday). He was switched because his teacher asked if anyone had previous experience with their instrument. He raised his hand and POOF! he was switched. Well...what happened to the letter I sent to his band teacher at the end of 5th grade? The one that indicated that Chicken had school and private tutoring experience. The one I took the time to write because I didn't want my son to have only ONE class with his best friend and then have that taken away on his third day of middle school. Yeah, that's the one, fuckwad. In addition to the aforementioned bitch slaps, you don't need to call any of your students "sweetie" or "sweetheart", especially when one of those students is my SON. Just because he looks like me and has longish hair and everyone mistakes him for a girl doesn't mean you can switch his class to a 7th and 8th grade dominated setting and then CALL HIM SWEETIE YOU ASSHOLE.
Back to teaching from the perspective of a parent that is going to school to teach...one of my classmates posted an introduction that included things like:
Total off the subject rant but still partially on the subject of school: If you partied so hard the night before the first day of school that the person standing next to you in the elevator can smell the booze oozing from your pores, you might want to sit down and think a bit about school. And your brain. And how I'm old and cranky and too tired to party the night before school starts.
*Oh my GAWD does she think I'm 23? 'Cause that's what age graduating from high school five years ago would make me. What the fuck? Do I want to look THAT young? I don't know if that's a good thing or not. That would make me a person that was fucking (literally) at eleven or twelve to have a baby at just shy of thirteen and holy fuck that's kind of gross. I don't think I like this at all.*
So that's what happened on my first day of school. Oh, and don't forget that my school is nicknamed "CSU Stair Master" as opposed to the official CSU San Marcos due to the fuckall lot of stairs. I parked in a parking lot located in a different hemisphere and then had to walk up and down so many flights of stairs that my thighs felt like Jello at the end of the day. Did you know that "jello" is incorrect according to the powers that be behind Google spell check? Hmph.
Also, two of my classes (the only two I have attended thus far) have an online component that involves a discussion group. It is very similar to a big ole blog, but you have to use your grammar skills and shit. Without saying "shit" and other slang terms. You're actually EXPECTED to comment and I so dearly want to say the following things:
- Honey, alot is TWO WORDS
- Use spell check
- Read what you just wrote.
- Now read it again.
- Yes, it sucks. Check for errors please.
In another school setting, Chicken is promoted to Advanced Band. This is good and bad. Good, because he will likely have to work to keep up with his 7th and 8th grade classmates and I believe at least one class should challenge him. Bad, because he started out the year in Beginning Band (Monday) and was switched yesterday (Wednesday). He was switched because his teacher asked if anyone had previous experience with their instrument. He raised his hand and POOF! he was switched. Well...what happened to the letter I sent to his band teacher at the end of 5th grade? The one that indicated that Chicken had school and private tutoring experience. The one I took the time to write because I didn't want my son to have only ONE class with his best friend and then have that taken away on his third day of middle school. Yeah, that's the one, fuckwad. In addition to the aforementioned bitch slaps, you don't need to call any of your students "sweetie" or "sweetheart", especially when one of those students is my SON. Just because he looks like me and has longish hair and everyone mistakes him for a girl doesn't mean you can switch his class to a 7th and 8th grade dominated setting and then CALL HIM SWEETIE YOU ASSHOLE.
Back to teaching from the perspective of a parent that is going to school to teach...one of my classmates posted an introduction that included things like:
- Technology is scary
- I don't understand how to use my I-pod
Total off the subject rant but still partially on the subject of school: If you partied so hard the night before the first day of school that the person standing next to you in the elevator can smell the booze oozing from your pores, you might want to sit down and think a bit about school. And your brain. And how I'm old and cranky and too tired to party the night before school starts.
posted by Sam at
9:56 PM
10 Comments:
I used to have to do a lot of those discussion board type things. I even posted one--along with a friend of mine--drunk! VERY drunk. Drunk enough that we had to hold each other up and dictate the post to a 3rd party. Not my finest hour.
I highly recommend it. It's the only good excuse for poor grammar and/or spelling.
Can't wait to see how NEXT week goes...
One of my classes has 70% kids who just came out of Torrey Pines HS. I'm 38, but damn I look barely 30. But still, major generation gap there.... it's gonna be a loooong semester in that class. Also teacher is from Eastern European country, oh what the fuck, she's Turkish and OMG she can barely speak English. And supposedly she's teaching at SDSU and other uni's. WTF????
My other classes are better although at CIS (computer course) a bunch of 18 year old chicks can't seem to shut up and have to talk amongst each other the whole damn time. Next week I'll be sitting as far as possible from them. First class I made the mistake to sit next to them.... BIG MISTAKE!
btw, my plan was to finish my last years of BA at CSUSM. Besides the monstrous stairs: how do like the place??
Gah, the thought of returning to college frightens the shit out of me. And you totally look young, have always thought it.
Hope to blog more often and comment more often, 'cause even though I'm rarely here you're one of my favorites.
Or, cuz even tho Im rarely hear your won of my favorites.
I should go back to college and get my degree... It would prolly inspire me to write more on my blog. I need to update it. Congrats on the schoolin yo!
btw notice how is has become acceptable (online mostly) to spell "weird" as "wierd".... ever heard of spelling check folks???
Most professors/instructor love us older students since we show up most of the time, are prepared and are on a mission (don't fuck around and do the job asap). Most of us ask questions in class, in a coherent sense (not like, you know like, some other like do.... you know? aaaaargh!).
Enjoy the time back in school. You'll find you're more focused now that you're older and know better what you want in life/career. Really, it's all good and in time you need to vent you have your TB right there!
Text messaging, an informal, ephemeral communication fails the test of 'feedback'. It is a vice, similar to 'whole language' and Ebonics - you have hit Whole Language, haven't you? The part where it stifles kids to tell them that their spelling is wrong or the grammar, as long as it 'sounds' close.
The more we explore using language that Mom isn't around to evaluate and correct, the more we slide into degenerate behavior.
While keeping schoolwork online might be a help for teachers, might be useful exposure for students, it effectively screens the student's work from casual checks by parents, and isn't kept around for referring to in the future.
And High Schoolers are too young to have an appreciation for precision, accuracy, and clear writing. This isn't new, just a shock for every generation that starts to master language skills, how crude the younger folks are. Stick around, and you will hear your kids make the same complaint about kids just getting out of school.
Enjoy the transition, and do look for a 're-entry' student organization. These groups have a better appreciation of what a non-high-schooler needs to know to get around.
Yes!
I find myself asking people, via the phone/or in person, at least twice a week, "You have a college degree?"
People, young and old, amaze me.
Keep in mind, this is all coming from a gal that LOVES ellipses;)
you are going back to school to be a teacher. this is effing awesome. i can't wait for more posts about your stupid classmates. this should be hilarious.
have you heard anyone say, "where you at?" yet? because that is my new loathed phrase. it sounds totally absurd.
please tell stella to be easy on me about weird/wierd. i can NOT spell that word to save my life! although, spell check is telling me that wierd is incorrect...crap, i'm one of those people....spell check. right. got it. ugh.
anyway, due to dealing with your too pid classmates, you should now sympathize more with those of us who have to deal with the public on a regular basis.
do you see what i have to deal with now? i deal w/college students all day long. they have the brains and maturity of 10 year olds. only since this is SC, they are 10x more ignorant.
did i mention we rank 49th in the nation for SAT scores? 5 years and counting. we sure do learn good down here. we is gettin us sum edumacation.
anyway, Sam, i think you would make a kick ass teacher. you don't put up with shit, you are smart, and you like some kids. plus, you are a hard worker. you also strike me as someone who is very organized. these are all the abilities you need to be a teacher. well, that and the ability so survive on peanuts for salary.
you'll do great!!!
or
yule do it real good. i gots feith in yas.
Last semester I took Freshman Composition II - an ENGLISH class. To take the II you have to first take the I. My 8 year old son could out-spell half the people posting to the discussion boards. Omg, I wanted to bang my head against my keyboard and them. Or just hit them with my keyboard. Or wit my keybored. And I simply won't go into the grammar. I just won't. My keyboard can't handle it.
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