"Coot"

Just to give you a slightly larger glimpse into the brain of the Sam, last night I had a dream that I was in a department store shopping for underwear. Not fancy, frilly, lacy, barely there underwear but the kind you wear when your monthly visitor (we call her Aunt Flo around Sam's place) comes to town. Generic, comfy, cotton undies that can take a beating. Or a bleeding. Ha ha. I crack myself up sometimes.

I'm shopping for undies in my dream and I come across a specialty section. Underwear made for special people I suppose. One brand catches my eye. It's called "Coot" and it has a special absorbent layer in the rear area to deal with the occasional shart*. It absorbs both liquid and odor, so even though you may shart at work, you don't have to worry about running home and changing your panties. The "Coot" will take care of it for you.**

*Shart: verb, to intend to fart and end up shitting. The term is only valid while wearing clothes. Toilet sharts are just called "taking a shit" or "pooping" or "dropping a deuce" or my favorite "going to my office and working on a project"

**I swear I had this dream last night. Really. I'm that crazy.