Smells Like Teen Spirit

Calling all housekeeping type people: You know how when you get over-zealous about your cleaning and at the end of it all you can only smell bleach or Pine-Sol or whatever you cleaned with all day long? Your poor nose is so saturated with chemicals that you couldn't smell fresh cut grass if you were laying on it while it was mowed. Today that happened to me. Just without the cleaning part.

Also, I hate the smell of Pine-Sol with a fucking fantastic passion. I want to barf each and every time I smell it, but I keep using it just because I have it and I cannot WASTE it for heaven's sake. I swear some Clean Elf Demon is refilling the bottle each night after I use it. Fucking Clean Elf Demons and their demon seed. One would think that I wouldn't have Pine-Sol in my house (duh?) but when my dad died I cleaned out his house and he had it. Because while he lay dying, the Clean Elf Demons were putting it in his house for me to find and not be able to ever use all of it or throw it away. Fuckers.



All of this blah, blah, blah is just a very long-winded way to say that I shit so much today that all I can smell is shit. I did not know that it was even possible, but the smell was so bad and the shit so plentiful that it smells like someone shit in my nostrils. Someone else I know shit today, a painful Cry For Mommy type shit. I feel for her and her family. Really. As smelly as she is normally, having a three-hour shit must have just about fucking killed the poor dogs with their keen sense of smell. Bitches.

My shits were more of the lengthy, time-delayed type, continuing on for most of the day and evening hours. When finally I finished, I showered good and well. With both hands and much lathering and rinsing and repeating. I still smell shit.