Uh? Sorry!
I'm messing with my blog template. Yes, I know I have a boilerplate template right now that makes you:
A. Jump for joy because there is NO blue.
B. Hurl in sadness because it lacks the blue.
C. Jump while hurling in my general direction.
I promise it will be:
A. Better
B. Worse
C. The same
When I get done. Which should be soon, because the Teddy Bear is in Palm Springs and the Chicken will be:
A. In bed by 8:30pm
B. Gone to be with his grandmother and do churchy things tomorrow whilst I sit at home with my heathen soul and talk to the Internets. And wonder the ultimate question: Am I the only person on the earth that doesn't know what pornotube is?
Also, the lists. Too much, I know. But I'm on the toilet and I like my toilet time to be super organized. Like so:
A. Pull down clothes from waist area, revealing pee and poop holes for peeing and pooping.
B. Sit down on toilet.
C. Pee. Or pee and poop. SOME people (you know who you are) can sit and poop and FORGET to pee. How? How is that even possible?
D. Wipe appropriate areas.
E. Stand
F. Clothe the nether regions.
G. Flush.
H. Wash hands.
I. Dry hands.
See? Totally organized. I practice every day.
A. Jump for joy because there is NO blue.
B. Hurl in sadness because it lacks the blue.
C. Jump while hurling in my general direction.
I promise it will be:
A. Better
B. Worse
C. The same
When I get done. Which should be soon, because the Teddy Bear is in Palm Springs and the Chicken will be:
A. In bed by 8:30pm
B. Gone to be with his grandmother and do churchy things tomorrow whilst I sit at home with my heathen soul and talk to the Internets. And wonder the ultimate question: Am I the only person on the earth that doesn't know what pornotube is?
Also, the lists. Too much, I know. But I'm on the toilet and I like my toilet time to be super organized. Like so:
A. Pull down clothes from waist area, revealing pee and poop holes for peeing and pooping.
B. Sit down on toilet.
C. Pee. Or pee and poop. SOME people (you know who you are) can sit and poop and FORGET to pee. How? How is that even possible?
D. Wipe appropriate areas.
E. Stand
F. Clothe the nether regions.
G. Flush.
H. Wash hands.
I. Dry hands.
See? Totally organized. I practice every day.
Labels: Poop
posted by Sam at
6:15 PM
8 Comments:
I hope your day today was not Shitty. HA I SAID SHITTY!!!! Hugs woman. CYA.
Two poopy posts in a row, huh?
You missed something in the pooping list.
You MUST MUST close the lid before you flush or else the potential for splashing and icky fumes may be stirred up from said flush.
CLOSE LID CLOSE LID CLOSE LID CLOSE LID.
Gross - I just tooted and it smells. Does that negate my comment?
Anna - if one closes the lid, how can one ensure that all of said poo contents has made it safely out the toilet?
Truthfully, I'm almost positive that this post contained way too much information.
www.pornotube.com
free porn, some categories are fab, some are bullshit ... but its good free stuff that makes you a more satisfied heathen.
I cant imagine not doing them both while you are doing the one. (I just realized that I have issues writing poop. There. I made myself do it. Who knew I was such a dainty little girl?)
And pornotube rocks.
sam, i effing love you. i have been away far, far too long. but you can stop crying, because i'm catching up TODAY. so hold on and get ready to be comment bombed. think of it as multiple orgasms in the world of blogging. there is squealing, writhing and total bliss involved. so the feelings are similar.
the one year anniversary is hard, i know. if it makes you feel any better, i still have my mom's phone number listed in my cell as "mom & dad" -- i just can't bring myself to change it.
it's been a little more than 2 years for me, and i will have the occasional totally random meltdown. luckily, none of them have happened in public. *whew*
and i, too, am looking for a job. you know i hate mine. what's ironic is, i'm a librarian. which means i am trained to FIND stuff. something that can be classified under the heading of "stuff" is "a new job for VB" yet it manages to escape me.
*sigh*
anyway. since i'm commenting on something that is like 3 months old at this point, i'm hoping your situation is much improved by now.
back to catching up.
p.s. i love that this is labeled "poop".
p.p.s. note to self: ask someone about pornotube or youporn or whatever it is. find out if viruses are involved. computer viruses, that is. regular viruses are assumed.
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