Half-Nekkid Tubby Pic*
Okay, so technically I'm totally nekkid in this picture. However, you only get to see my purdy mug so that's only half-nekkid. I rarely take baths but this day my body was fucking killing me and a bath actually sounded like a great idea. By the way, this is my first facial without any makeup at all. Totally nekkid!
The "tubby" part has a double meaning. I recently went to the doctors because those fuckers will only refill my meds if I visit once a year. The nurse calculated my BMI and congratulated me on my weight. What the FUCK bitch? I've gained TWELVE pounds. A dozen. What does she say in response to this? "But you've quit smoking and that's soooo great!" Stupid cunt.
Yes, some of you are saying "But Sam, you showed your ass last week and WOW you look great." Yeah, I know. Except for one, small thing. My stomach is a greedy bitch and loves to steal all the weight-gaining glory for herself. Here's the breakdown:
12 pounds gained
8 pounds to stomach
1 pound to breasts
1 pound to thighs
2 pounds that travel around aimlessly waiting to go to the stomach
Again, many of you are sighing and wanting to bitch slap me. Go ahead. I get it. But before you kick me in the clam (thanks Anna!) you should know this:
I weighed ONE pound more when I delivered Chicken into this world. ONE POUND. Oh, and the clothes? Don't fit. My lovely newish suit? Nope. My jeans? Nope. My shorts and skirts and fuckall everything? Nope. Please send one (1) money tree so I can buy clothes that will fit my stomach. /sigh
*picture removed
The "tubby" part has a double meaning. I recently went to the doctors because those fuckers will only refill my meds if I visit once a year. The nurse calculated my BMI and congratulated me on my weight. What the FUCK bitch? I've gained TWELVE pounds. A dozen. What does she say in response to this? "But you've quit smoking and that's soooo great!" Stupid cunt.
Yes, some of you are saying "But Sam, you showed your ass last week and WOW you look great." Yeah, I know. Except for one, small thing. My stomach is a greedy bitch and loves to steal all the weight-gaining glory for herself. Here's the breakdown:
12 pounds gained
8 pounds to stomach
1 pound to breasts
1 pound to thighs
2 pounds that travel around aimlessly waiting to go to the stomach
Again, many of you are sighing and wanting to bitch slap me. Go ahead. I get it. But before you kick me in the clam (thanks Anna!) you should know this:
I weighed ONE pound more when I delivered Chicken into this world. ONE POUND. Oh, and the clothes? Don't fit. My lovely newish suit? Nope. My jeans? Nope. My shorts and skirts and fuckall everything? Nope. Please send one (1) money tree so I can buy clothes that will fit my stomach. /sigh
*picture removed
Labels: About Me, HNT, Stupid Twats, Who Am I?
posted by Sam at
12:21 AM
15 Comments:
the first facial with no makeup, huh... :)
lookin good hun...
peace...
I think you look amazing. Here's something encouraging, they say the tummy is the first place you lose weight. Good luck with all your goals.
HHNT
Yer purty!
Your eyelashes look like THAT with NO MAKEUP?
*sigh*
You are still freaking hot...I dont care how much "tummy weight" you gain.
Actually, not smoking is so much better for you that you shouldn't sweat it. You WILL lose the weight.
Eat a little less, walk a little more each day. OR don't, but that's the ticket to losing it. You have my admiration and support. Love ya! HHNT!
Of course, I have one solution to your problem with none of your clothes fitting: don't wear any!
Okay, as a good Mormon boy, I'm not really allowed to be serious when I say that. But I have a feeling that there's a lot of guys out there who are saying to themselves "Boy, Schadeboy's right. That would be a good solution, because Sam is so HOT!"
And I'm not talking because you're in a bathtub for that photo.
Oh, and if it's any help, I happen to think that stomach pooches are actually very attractive and a turn-on. We've already established that I have a weird side, so this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.
Hmmm... any weight that I gain seems to bypass my stomach and go straight to my hips and thighs..and when I loose it goes first from my stomach and boobs! We need to set our lovely bodies straight damn it!
Great pic..looks very relaxing!
HHNT!
God, you're beautiful. I'm sorry about the weight gain, but I am thrilled for the smoking cessation. But, you know, I really can't spare much pity. I am about to deliver a baby and currently weight 212.6lbs.
I am never going to recover from this!!
I had lost 10 pounds, but I think I found them and two of their friends. Same boat. Clothes suck.
Very nice!
No new post? You must be busy doing other things!!!!
Hey lady we need a post. I understand new love and everything but throw a dog a bone would ya?
Now I don't mind that you never call me anymore...nor do I mind that you don't respond to my emails, but not updating your blog...on a thursday~WTF has gotten into you...y'know, besides cock?
You have sooo gone to the dark side.
Even I post more often than you now.
Traitor.
it's my fault, i've been sick, and sam has been wonderful enought to take care of me, which somehow flipped her into super overdrive housewife mode, and she went crazy with chores, taking care of chicken, etc.
she'll be back,
- "teddy bear"
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