Mrs. Dash

H3.2 recommended that in the coming weeks I feel like total ass during the work week and feel rested and delightfully pain-free during the weekend so as to make our interactions more um... interactive. The problem I find with this course of action is that during the week I have to WORK. Which requires a certain amount of effort. If I don't work I may miss out on the following things:

1. Food
2. Shelter
3. Internet
4. Blogging
   

By the way, H3.2 just commented that I smell like Mrs. Dash. What The Fuck?! The only thing that I have cooked today was a tuna sandwich and the tuna was prepared yesterday.

Back to my blogging, and the ultimate demise of blogging that not working would cause. It is not as if H3.2 wants me to STOP working, he just wants me to feel shitty during work and not after. However, working CAUSES the shitty and not the other way around. Which would be shitty causing work. While I shit during work, and frequently feel like shit during work, the shit itself does not make me work. It is a byproduct one could say.

How does one with a chronic suck ass illness get around this work makes me tired and my whole fucking body hurts and ug! I can't sleep for shit and I'm anxious and all this sucks shit? By not working, of course. Therefore, due to:

A. My shoddy health benefits that cost me a GAZILLION dollars per month due to not having a work plan (or country that provides it DAMN YOU CANADA!!)

and

B. My working totally fucking up my social life

I am embarking on a mission. To find ONE (or more) man/men that are willing to provide me with excellent health benefits and a small (or large) living allowance of no less than 50,000 USD per year. I don't really need that much, however I would have no problem spending it in an appropriate manner. Like, um... hookers for all of my friends.

In other non-shit related matters, I was attempting to help coach Chicken in his ass-kissing of my mother via phone earlier today. He stopped his conversation, glared at me and said:

"Will you please be quiet, this is my stream of compliments!"

Okay then.

Sidenote: H3.2 is very bothered by most all of the above post. Although I assure him that all of my readers are either:

A. Mommies with husbandies
B. Husbandies with wifies
C. Gay men that I can't turn hetero no matter how HOT they are dammit
D. Hot chicks that would do me so that's okay
E. Friends that NEVER want to see me naked

Therefore, I can post this post without ramifications of any sort other than a few funny comments. And yes, Shadeboy, I probably cannot say "shit" as much in one day as I have in this post. Unless I tried. Then I could. I know I could.