Kandoo

My brain is fried, so I thought I would share a few highlights from my long weekend.

I saw two movies, Just My Luck (with Chicken) and X Men III (with the boys).

I got piss drunk on Saturday night. On the way home, some bimbo rear-ended us. She was in an 80's Honda Accord. We were in the Corvette. As I was piss drunk, my initial reaction was "Uh, did someone just rear-end us?" H3.2 and I are fine, the Vette is okay but will need some doctoring.

After we arrived home, I was walking down the stairs in the house and managed to miss the last few steps due to my piss drunkeness. My ass HURTS.

Speaking of my ass, I have been eating something (as per usual) that has had an adverse reaction in the ass region. Specifically, forever wipes. And I mean FOREVER you must take a fucking shower wipes. Which wouldn't be so awfully bad if I didn't shit more than 10 times a day when my tummy is unhappy. So, I bought Kandoo. I couldn't find adult moist wipes, so Kandoo was the next best thing. At least when I'm miserable on the toilet I can laugh at a picture of a frog wiping his ass. Who wouldn't enjoy that?

Aside from the abuse of poor Mr. Don Julio, I spent most of my four day weekend hurting from fucking head to fucking toe. I certainly love it when I have four fucking days off and my FMS decides to put me out of commission. Luckily, enough alcohol will kill the pain. Unluckily, I find that I am not interested in becoming a full-fledged alcoholic. I'm fairly attached to my liver, and parenting while drunk is difficult. Funny, but difficult.

*Note: Chicken spent Saturday night with my insane mother. He was not subjected to my drunken stupidity.

**Second Note: I may have some funny drunken Sam pictures from Saturday night to share at a later date.

***Third and Final Note: As Just My Luck is rated PG-13 I was slightly uncomfortable at allowing Chicken to view it. I only gave in because Chicken LOVES Lindsay Lohan. It wasn't TOO bad but there were a few scenes that I could have lived without. Yes, I am a total hypocrite.