The Best

How can you tell if you're the best mother in the whole entire world on Mother's Day? When you get the fucking raddest present in the whole entire world TWO days early. I gots me a new laptop. The other one was a loaner POS from H3.2, with a broken LCD hinge which flopped around like your man's penis when confronted by your grandmother's nakedness. Of course, if you're a hetero man, it flopped around like your grandmother's nakedness. You get the idea. Socks with rocks and all that nonsense. The laptop before that died a horribly tragic death which involved grandpa nakedness and black speedos.

By the way, I have decided that black speedos on old men are like bad car accidents. Chicken and I were at his swimming lesson this afternoon and WOW I could not look away. One of them grandpa's had a package that was scary big. I hope it's not one of those plump when you cook 'em models because FUCK that would be a huge cock.

Now I have my very own working and happy and uber cool laptop courtesy of H3.2. It is waaaayyyy faster and waaaayyy prettier than the previous models. The screen resolution is so clear that I can see every pube on all your HNT photos. EVERY ONE.

If you see me in the near future, I'm the one with my mouth full.

Update: OMG I'm on the shitter and I am so happy. I forgot to mention that the old laptop had a faulty battery, so I was always stuck with a cord in the wall. Now I can blog on the shitter again. Peace, love and happiness is mine.