You Can't Hump A Pole

Chicken and I were watching reruns of America's Next Top Model today which inspired a discussion about pin up girls and the 1950's view of beauty in America. I looked up a few pictures like the one to the left to illustrate our discussion. The Internets rock in that way. I can't tell you how many times Chicken has asked a question that the Internet has happily answered and with pictures to boot.

After discussing his dislike of pin up hairstyles he was curious about one of the judges. Thanks America's Next Top Model, I really wanted to talk about drag queens today. Really. I did. Needless to say, explaining drag queens to a fourth-grader wasn't easy. I have no personal experience with drag queens so what the hell do I know? I'd appreciate some input from any dear readers that know if drag queen behavior has any relationship to sexual orientation or is more of a dress-up thing. I'm talking about a RuPaulesque drag queen. Did you know that RuPaul was born in San Diego? That's what I'm talking about! The Internets, man. Information highway. Knarly and shit.

At bedtime, Chicken and I typically cuddle in his loft bed while he babbles about his day. Today's conversation was typically blog-worthy.

Chicken: Tristan told me to "Go hump a pole" and I was like WTF? How can you hump a pole? Are you going to go find something to drill with and drill a hole in the pole and then stick your penis in it and hump it? You'll probably end up with spiders inside the pole biting your parts. That's stupid. You can't hump a pole.

Sidenote: No names were changed in the previous story to protect the innocent because any child that tells my Chicken to "hump a pole" doesn't deserve protection from the prying eyes of the Internets.