Inane Questions
I stole this from Andi. She stole it from someone else...you know the drill.
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 24 and find line 5.
That would require moving from my current horizontal position on the couch. I do have the most recent FHM beside me, however.
A stupid decorative pillow that was once featured in an HNT of my feet and the same FHM magazine. H3.2 has a subscription, but I'm the only one that reads it. Chicken loves it because I'll read the jokes to him. I can't wait until he grows up and realizes that I've been editing the jokes all this time...
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Seinfield, where I had to convince the youngster H3.2 that Elaine is the same actress that stars in the new show The New Adventures of Old Christine. He couldn't believe that she looked like such shit today compared to 1998. I explained to him that between 35 and 45 years old women go downhill FAST and he was welcome to stick around for a few more years and watch the rapid deterioration up close and personal.
4. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Nothing. The beautiful absence of sound. I love it. I shall cherish these 15 minutes for years.
5. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I left my house this morning at 5:45am to take care of Baby Z. I believe I was sleep-walking.
6. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
I looked at Andi's blog. I also read it for a bit because I blove Andi. She's a total book slut. I bet she would do it with a book she didn't even know AT ALL. And she'd love it and never look back. Unless it was good, and then she'd do it again. Before that, I was looking at myself naked. In the shower. Naked. Without my glasses, so really I didn't see anything exciting. You didn't miss much. I promise.
7. What are you wearing?
Duh, pajamas, granny panties and my Dude. My new pajamas shipped yesterday. I wonder if they will be here in time for next week's HNT?
8. Did you dream last night?
Dream... wet or dry?
9. When did you last laugh?
When H3.2 tried to convince me that being compared to a pig was a good thing. "What?" he exclaims, "you're both tasty!" How can you argue with that logic?
10. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Dust? Pictures? What kind of question is this? Dead people. I hang dead people on my walls. They make me laugh.
11. Seen anything weird lately?
Does Chicken count? I saw him disappear into his room a while back. Actually, that has to count. He never hangs out in his room. So that is weird. He's usually glued to my side. Oh, except I sent him to his room for being an asshat. I guess that is why the house is quiet.
12. What do you think of this quiz?
What do you think of my cock in your ass? Oh, sorry. The quiz is fine.
13. What is the last film you saw?
Land of the Dead. More aptly titled Yawn of the Dead by a user at imdb. I don't know if you could count it as an actual film, though. Maybe more of a middle-schoolers cinema project.
14. If you turned a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
How many multi? Two or fifty? Let's assume fifty. I would buy...Dude his nuts back. Then we could make sweet kitty love together.
15. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
The Internets know everything...except that I secretly dream of cutting off my hair.
16. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
I'd sterilize 1/2 of the world for being stupid, mean, bad fuckers that shouldn't reproduce EVER.
17. Do you like to Dance?
Is Dance different than dance? No I don't. My wedding to H2? No dancing. I forbade dancing. I did have a killer open bar, though.
18. George Bush.
*vomits*
19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
My first child wasn't a girl. Now what the fuck do I do? I named Chicken Ashley before the ultrasound revealed that Ashley had a penis.
20. Imagine your boyfriend is making sweet love to his Xbox 360, what would you do?
Sit here and blog the most boring post ever.
21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
The Netherlands.
Oh, yes. I would. I thought you asked where, and I answered. Why is Essie here by the way? I'd complain if I was her.
22. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
How the fuck did you get here? Did someone tell you we had gluten-free beer?
23. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
Pick yourselves you lazy-assed sons/daughters of bitches. Comment. I'll read it.
Sidenote: I'm watching My Name is Earl right now with H3.2. I love that show. It is the best trash ever. "I bet it made a crunchy sound." hahaha
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 24 and find line 5.
That would require moving from my current horizontal position on the couch. I do have the most recent FHM beside me, however.
Our club gathers each year to celebrate the hair on our upper lips and to honor Tom Selleck's achievements in the field.2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?
A stupid decorative pillow that was once featured in an HNT of my feet and the same FHM magazine. H3.2 has a subscription, but I'm the only one that reads it. Chicken loves it because I'll read the jokes to him. I can't wait until he grows up and realizes that I've been editing the jokes all this time...
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Seinfield, where I had to convince the youngster H3.2 that Elaine is the same actress that stars in the new show The New Adventures of Old Christine. He couldn't believe that she looked like such shit today compared to 1998. I explained to him that between 35 and 45 years old women go downhill FAST and he was welcome to stick around for a few more years and watch the rapid deterioration up close and personal.
4. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Nothing. The beautiful absence of sound. I love it. I shall cherish these 15 minutes for years.
5. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I left my house this morning at 5:45am to take care of Baby Z. I believe I was sleep-walking.
6. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
I looked at Andi's blog. I also read it for a bit because I blove Andi. She's a total book slut. I bet she would do it with a book she didn't even know AT ALL. And she'd love it and never look back. Unless it was good, and then she'd do it again. Before that, I was looking at myself naked. In the shower. Naked. Without my glasses, so really I didn't see anything exciting. You didn't miss much. I promise.
7. What are you wearing?
Duh, pajamas, granny panties and my Dude. My new pajamas shipped yesterday. I wonder if they will be here in time for next week's HNT?
8. Did you dream last night?
Dream... wet or dry?
9. When did you last laugh?
When H3.2 tried to convince me that being compared to a pig was a good thing. "What?" he exclaims, "you're both tasty!" How can you argue with that logic?
10. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Dust? Pictures? What kind of question is this? Dead people. I hang dead people on my walls. They make me laugh.
11. Seen anything weird lately?
Does Chicken count? I saw him disappear into his room a while back. Actually, that has to count. He never hangs out in his room. So that is weird. He's usually glued to my side. Oh, except I sent him to his room for being an asshat. I guess that is why the house is quiet.
12. What do you think of this quiz?
What do you think of my cock in your ass? Oh, sorry. The quiz is fine.
13. What is the last film you saw?
Land of the Dead. More aptly titled Yawn of the Dead by a user at imdb. I don't know if you could count it as an actual film, though. Maybe more of a middle-schoolers cinema project.
14. If you turned a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
How many multi? Two or fifty? Let's assume fifty. I would buy...Dude his nuts back. Then we could make sweet kitty love together.
15. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
The Internets know everything...except that I secretly dream of cutting off my hair.
16. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
I'd sterilize 1/2 of the world for being stupid, mean, bad fuckers that shouldn't reproduce EVER.
17. Do you like to Dance?
Is Dance different than dance? No I don't. My wedding to H2? No dancing. I forbade dancing. I did have a killer open bar, though.
18. George Bush.
*vomits*
19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
My first child wasn't a girl. Now what the fuck do I do? I named Chicken Ashley before the ultrasound revealed that Ashley had a penis.
20. Imagine your boyfriend is making sweet love to his Xbox 360, what would you do?
Sit here and blog the most boring post ever.
21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
The Netherlands.
Oh, yes. I would. I thought you asked where, and I answered. Why is Essie here by the way? I'd complain if I was her.
22. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
How the fuck did you get here? Did someone tell you we had gluten-free beer?
23. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
Pick yourselves you lazy-assed sons/daughters of bitches. Comment. I'll read it.
Sidenote: I'm watching My Name is Earl right now with H3.2. I love that show. It is the best trash ever. "I bet it made a crunchy sound." hahaha
posted by Sam at
9:24 PM
12 Comments:
My first child was a girl and her name is Ashley!
You are still making me laugh until I choke!
I can't watch Earl, that has to be filmed where I live. I keep waiting to see a neighbor on there.
I think I will still this so I don't have to think about a post.
Oooh, look at you ruining my reputation. I am a book whore. I flash my bookish shit all over town.
Have a piece of gluten-free chocolate (??) for doing this meme. You're a good woman.
I want to move to the Netherlands, too. Probably for the same reason you do. :) I spent 20 hours in Amsterdam on an extended layover may years ago. It was heavenly.
Sam, you always make me laugh!!! you are one of the funniest people around. thanks for making my friday fun. :)
#10 and #12 almost made me pee!!!
i might try this on my blog, but it would pale in comparison. so maybe i won't.
Wow, you really do have a smart-ass answer for everything. lol Fun list.
Wow, you really do have a smart-ass answer for everything. lol Fun list.
OK, I don't know why blogger put my comment twice, maybe it was worth saying twice? lol
book sluts rule. i love being a book slut AND i book snob i could NOT ask for more.
andi kicks ass hard too.
12 had me rolling! great answers!LMAO!
Ahhh, the inimitable Sam- I fell off my chair when I hit #12...Classic!
I had to respond...
you wrote: Would you ever consider living abroad? The Netherlands.
Oh, yes. I would. I thought you asked where, and I answered. Why is Essie here by the way? I'd complain if I was her.
****
Actually as of last weekend Essie is spending a week visting The Netherlands.
Believe me, life is not that great over there..... you want examples I hear? Sure:
* it's friggin'cold out here (barely above freezing point) and people dare to call this Spring and say it so much better then last week when it was still freezing.
* You think the price of housing is bad in Cali? Cone live here in a tiny townhouse at the price of at least 300.000 euro's. Just walking down the stairs is a threat to your life...
* You have to pay for anything: I was in Utrecht, had to pay for every restroom (20 cent) just to go pee.
* Eating out is expensivbe. The drinks are tiny and expensive and no refills folks.
* It is impossible to get to the stores, which are mainly in old downtown. Roads are closed or one-way. Parking is a disaster and expensive.
*Running errands is an expedition on its own. You have to pay to use a shopping cart and after bringing your groceries to your far away parked tiny car, cramping your own brought shopping bags in there, you have to bring back the cart, unless you want to lose 1 euro...
* Since the euro was introduced prices have basically doubled, but income has been the same or less.
* More lay-offs, more debt and on and on....
sure you get buy some weed in "Coffee shops"" if that's your thing, but most Dutch do not. More likely the young tourists do.
And let's not even get into the major racial tensions between the Maroccan youth and the rest of The Netherlands. Seem to be a huge problem.
All in all: I rather live in California. Sure I hate Bush, and I could name some other annoying things about the US but if I have to list the pros and cons of both countries, USA wins easily.....
As I say: The Netherlands: nice to visit, don't want to live there!
So what is so attractive to the Netherlands so Sammie??
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