Cooter
Overheard:
(in my shower as I am showering and H3.2 is standing outside of the shower talking to me)
He looks down and says: "Shave your cooter."
I am outraged at the Dukes of Hazzard reference being used on my private parts. Thou shall not call it a cooter. It's many things, but not a cooter. Cooter is a mechanic. Cooter is not my pussy. I screech: "What? It's not a cooter!"
He shrugs and replies, "I will call it a cooter until you shave it."
Damn! It's not like I look like these women. And yes, I had to work really, really, REALLY hard to find the most tasteful picture of hairy snatch the Internet had to offer so as not to cause some people (Schadeboy) to spew a non-caffeinated beverage on their computer. Which I'm not sure that he would but I'm trying to be sensitive and all today in respect of you guys and your rockingness. (Which IS a word I swear) Plus, it's just such a great picture. When thinking of all natural grooming, I do not conjure up a picture as delightful as this one. Onto my story....
"Fuck" I say. Shaving commences. I cannot, will not have it called a cooter. Not in a house, not with a mouse, not for all the green eggs and ham in the world.
So...it's almost HNT time... I still have a backlog of 1/2 to 3/4 finished posts-which is unlike me. I'm full of it. However, I just wanted to say "Thank you." For all of you that were able to read a post about a controversial subject and offer your opinions in a thoughtful, constructive way. I was prepared to come home tonight to mayhem at Sam's Stories. Instead I found tears in my eyes after reading all your comments. Thanks. Your rockingness is appreciated, applauded and anus. Why anus, you so rightfully ask? Because I'm typing along when I say "I need a word that starts with an "A" and before I can describe what type of word Chicken shouts out "Anus!" That's just the word I was looking for. Anus.
(in my shower as I am showering and H3.2 is standing outside of the shower talking to me)
He looks down and says: "Shave your cooter."
I am outraged at the Dukes of Hazzard reference being used on my private parts. Thou shall not call it a cooter. It's many things, but not a cooter. Cooter is a mechanic. Cooter is not my pussy. I screech: "What? It's not a cooter!"
He shrugs and replies, "I will call it a cooter until you shave it."
Damn! It's not like I look like these women. And yes, I had to work really, really, REALLY hard to find the most tasteful picture of hairy snatch the Internet had to offer so as not to cause some people (Schadeboy) to spew a non-caffeinated beverage on their computer. Which I'm not sure that he would but I'm trying to be sensitive and all today in respect of you guys and your rockingness. (Which IS a word I swear) Plus, it's just such a great picture. When thinking of all natural grooming, I do not conjure up a picture as delightful as this one. Onto my story....
"Fuck" I say. Shaving commences. I cannot, will not have it called a cooter. Not in a house, not with a mouse, not for all the green eggs and ham in the world.
So...it's almost HNT time... I still have a backlog of 1/2 to 3/4 finished posts-which is unlike me. I'm full of it. However, I just wanted to say "Thank you." For all of you that were able to read a post about a controversial subject and offer your opinions in a thoughtful, constructive way. I was prepared to come home tonight to mayhem at Sam's Stories. Instead I found tears in my eyes after reading all your comments. Thanks. Your rockingness is appreciated, applauded and anus. Why anus, you so rightfully ask? Because I'm typing along when I say "I need a word that starts with an "A" and before I can describe what type of word Chicken shouts out "Anus!" That's just the word I was looking for. Anus.
posted by Sam at
7:54 PM
9 Comments:
I am sitting here, crying, because I was singled out twice within two weeks on Sam's blog! Can I geet a WOOHOO!
Alright, that's what I'm talking about!
And I've been known to drink caffeinated sodas. And I don't spit it out...unless I see a picture of a woman's breasts with a snake in between them.
I want to be singled out, too. But since I haven't been yet, let me just say that I love your wit, Sam. You rock. We love you as much as you love us. It's a mutual adoration society.
HEY lets start the The Mutual Adoration Society (T.M.A.S.) sounds funny and uplifts like a sports bra.
My first thought is that must be a really old picture. I don't think anyone lets theirs get that hairy anymore. Why is that anyway?
Happy HNT Sam!!! ;-)
All I could think of when I saw the pics of the untrimmed boxes was, 'I gotta make a caption to go with this picture!'.
How about,
"Lucy, do you think salt water is an effective alternate to douche?"
or,
"Vote for Bush!"
or,
The Beaver Girls prepare for their voyage to the salon for their annual Bikini Wax.
just for the record...
you should not have to tailor your posts to any particular person...they should just be aware that spewage may happen when they read your blog, and protect their equipment appropriately...
saran wrap works wonders...
peace...
I love the word Cooter. I have an aunt whose name is Cooter. Aunt Cooter. Her real name is Carol but she married my uncle whose name was Carroll. So she started going by Cooter. Classy huh?
Just for the record, I never asked Sam to taylor her posts for me. She did it on her own. I never ask anyone to do that. If I ever find offense, I just go away.
But, along those lines, if for any reason I have been an influence in anyone's lives to make certain characteristic changes, I can only hope that such changes would be considered good ones.
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