Coochie + Toothpaste = Extra Whitening

For some reason H3.2 and I were discussing toothpaste and pussy (the vaginal, not the feline type) the other day in the shower. It started with a discussion of toothpaste and then naturally lead to eating pussy which of course ultimately ended in me mentioning H3.2 eating my pussy covered with toothpaste. He vehemently denied ever eating my pussy covered in toothpaste, while I protested that he had done so in the past. H3.2 said it wasn't even prudent to put toothpaste on a pussy (especially a freshly-shaven one) due to the stinging and general ouchiness of the endeavor.

Just to be perfectly clear, at no time did H3.2 eat toothpaste off my coochie. I was simply enjoying a very flustered H3.2 and his repeated denial of the event. However, to prove my point that coochie + toothpaste does not = death to coochie I exited the shower, squirted toothpaste (with extra whitening power!!) on my hand and got back into the shower. Where I proceeded to apply it to my coochie, avoiding the inner areas but liberally spreading it everywhere else. I must admit, the sensation of freshly-shaved coochie + toothpaste was rather... odd. I would liken the experience to Icy Hot. Even after washing it off and exiting the shower the cold/hot/minty fresh feeling lingered. And lingered. And lingered.

Just as this post must linger. For alas, dear readers I must leave for THREE WHOLE DAYS. I am off to a grand retreat in the mountains, eating home-cooked meals that are miraculously prepared and cleaned up without any Sam intervention. I may partake in deer watching from the large bay windows. I may sigh a gentle sigh at the beauty of nature. I may sleep when sleep calls me and sleep the sleep of one without a care in the world. But most importantly of all (Anna- STOP READING RIGHT NOW!!) I most certainly will scrapbook until my hands are bloody and the pictures are smeared with fecal matter as I cannot even stop to wipe my own ass. I will scrapbook from Friday evening until Sunday brunch and this time folks, I don't even have to stop to go outside and smoke. Because I am a quitter. And a scrapper. I am Sam.

Meet my friends A and B:
A. Exciting moment where Anna vomits up food from last month: I may even photograph and POST a layout or two for your "Oh my Gawd she really does scrapbook" pleasure.

B. Even more exciting moment where Anna can start reading again: I am paring down my scrappin' materials to the BARE minimum. I may not even pack underwear. Why? Because I am driving the fucking VETTE this weekend, ladies and gentlemen. To a mountainous location with curves and hills and dales and such. I would have a bit more room, except that my hot asian chick friend LD2 is riding up with me. She doesn't even realize that we're sharing a bed... ha ha ha... I'm serious. Really. Go see her blog. I'm going to scrap mommy stuff while she scraps Scotland and China and Places Other Than The Pool and Living Room Floor.

I'll be back Sunday.... no Internet access on the mountain. No cell phone signal on the mountain. Bliss, I say. Pure bliss.