Whack-It! Wednesday

Chicken's favorite blog is Empty Cerebrations, because like any 9 year-old boy he loves to see things get fucked up. Each and every Wednesday Erin takes a household item that has outlived its useful life (or just pissed her off) and she smashes it to bits. She documents the whole process with pictures, witty captions and occasionally a song. Erin even gave Whack-It Wednesday its own blogger address and logo:
This week, I present to you my very first Whack-It Wednesday. Today's item is a shitty workbench in my tiny one (1) car garage. Before you gasp in dismay at the wanton distruction of a workbench, please be assured that I have excellent reasons for dismembering this workbench:

1. I never use it.
2. Shit piles up on it.
3. My garage is filled with my dad's things.
4. There is no room for the Corvette.
5. My Cranky Ass next door neighbor backed into the Vette ( the story is coming soon to a theatre near you).
6. The area I live in requires that garages be used to park vehicles, not store crap/tools/dead bodies/etc.
7. The above requirement comes with a hefty fine if not followed.
8. The blue hairs (old folks) in my area LOVE to find a resident not following this rule (or any rule) and have the board send the offending party a nasty letter. Fuckers!
9. Did I mention that there is no room for the Corvette?

Without further needless prattle, I give you Whack-It Wednesday! (Please note: All pictures can be clicked on for a better view of the carnage)

Exhibit A:
The Workbench. Typically covered with various painting/staining/car washing/drill/sander stuff. Too high for me (5'3ish") to effectively use.

Exhibit B:
The left leg after I get through with it. Note the twisted metal- which I fucked up with my bare hands. No tools needed. Damn it felt good.

Exhibit C:
Bonus Whack-It! I hated this hammer. The sound of splintering wood? The hammer, not the workbench. Oops.

Exhibit D:
Pry bar. Love it. Use it.

Exhibit E:
Prying. Bye-bye right leg!

Exhibit F:
Right leg + bonus pieces that came off with it!

Exhibit G:
I give you sledge hammer!! (Hear Peter Gabriel singing in the background?) Notice the distinct lean of the bench? I was putting all my weight on the bench and bouncing up and down. No, it wasn't sexy at all. The damn thing wouldn't move. However, a few mighty Whacks! of the sledge hammer and I fucked that shit up! Don't mess with sledge hammer.


Exhibit H:
Sam 1, Bench 0


Exhibit I:
My dowry. How much hotter am I when you know that this is only part of my tool dowry? Much hotter.

I learned something from this installation of Whack-It! Wednesday. Well, not necessarily learned, but I remembered something about the feeling of using my muscles. Several years ago I started lifting weights and doing cardio at the gym. I hated the cardio but I loved the weights. Life interrupted me and I stopped working out. I need to get back into the gym, if only for the sheer joy of using my muscles to their fullest extent. It just feels so damn good. Enjoy your Wednesday and go visit Erin!