Navel Collection

Well I'm home and just starting to process everything. For a while I'll be spewing out my feelings and experiences with my patented "Sam-snark". (Thanks Andi for the invention of today's word of the day!) Occasionally I will be serious and sad and we'll all enjoy a whining crying sniveling tear sob festival. First of all, thank you all for the support. It was wonderful to read all your comments and just sit and cry. I've decided it is a lot easier than trying to figure out how to react when people say "I'm sorry" in person. What is the appropriate response to that? Generally speaking, people that you aren't close to don't want you to break down and sob when they offer their condolences, but that's what I want to do. So here, in blogland, you leave comments, I cry and actually grieve. I'm pretty sure that grieving is healthy and one of those damn steps that people go through. Although I might be totally fucking wrong. So this is my long-winded way of saying "Thank you". It helps.

In other random events... I'd like to address my "Dumb Cunt" award in a bit more detail. I believe that I am neither dumb or a cunt. However, it tickled my twisted sense of humor to attempt to win a "Dumb Cunt of the Year" award. Probably because it was an excuse to say "dumb cunt" over and over. The social taboo of the "c" word gives it so much meaning and shock value. I'm a frequent reader of I Talk Too Much although I'm pretty sure that I pissed the bitches off a while back. For those of you that haven't visited, the premise of the blog is to review blogs when requested. The bitches (that's what they call themselves, I'm not being snotty) are hilarious in their reviews. Most of the reviews are conducted after a blog owner requests it, and many of the blogs are ripped to shreds.

For me, it was just good, clean fun and a learning experience. I've made changes to my blog based on reading what is annoying to others, just to make Sam's Stories more enjoyable. I've also made new blog friends (hi JoeC!) and read some that are good, bad and fucking horrible on the eyes. However, a certain blog caught my eye and I began to read in the comments. This blog was panned by one of the bitches, and after some research it did seem like the reviewer didn't dig too deeply before reviewing it. Whatever, right? We all have opinions, they're like assholes, etc. etc. Speaking of assholes, mine is killing me. Forever wipes. Ouch.

So on with my story... not only did they review this blog, but then left comments on her site that weren't polite. I didn't think it was cool, and I left a comment (on the person's site, not at I Talk Too Much) saying as much. According to the bitches I am now a traitor, and that is why I won the award... the readers don't like traitors. So I say "poo on you" to the bitches. I've got plenty of poo right now to go around, and it is the angry burny please just stop kind of poo. I'm still going to read their reviews, and I still think that much of their advice is valid and hilarious.

That was three paragraphs too many on that subject. How about something entertaining yet uplifting? Similar to a push-up bra with blinky lights. My dad's corneas were donated to the Utah Lion's Eye Bank at my request and I had to answer a bunch of questions to make sure that he was a good donor candidate. One of them was "Is your father HIV positive?" My answer "I don't think he's had sex since HIV has existed." The nurse said "That is the funniest thing I've heard". Seriously, I haven't seen my dad with a woman since he divorced my mother in the late 70's. Not one woman. I guess being married to my mother was enough experience with female bullshit for a lifetime.

Sorry about the no HNT this week. I'm not feeling up to my frisky self as of yet. Don't worry though, I won't be gone from the nekkid festivities for long.