I'm Fucking In the Lead!
Please don't think that due to my title above that I'm fucking while in the lead. 'Cause actually I'm just blogging while in the lead. Although fucking AND blogging at the same time would probably fill some dark void within me I haven't figured out the mechanics of the whole endeavor. I'm also guessing that H3.2 wouldn't appreciate it. Now, if I was a man, it would be easier. I'd just toss my woman in the canine position, slap my laptop on her back and away I'd go. We'll call it blucking or fluggin or some shit. It will be an international craze. Speaking of my multi-tasking skills, (Dad don't read this sentence, your retinas will burn) I once smoked a cigarette while "doing the deed." Why? Just so I could say I had done it. I was fucking insane even when I was a teenager. Bad Sam, bad! (Chastizing oneself is the next step in the "I'm a fucking lunatic that cusses too much" process.
What was my point? Because of TOTALLYFUCKINGAWESOMERAD (that's for you, Corinna) people like JoeC and Nessa posting about my yearning for Cunthood Glory I am currently in first place for Dumb Cunt of The Year. Only by three votes, but fuckall if you guys aren't trying for me!! The contest ends January 17th, and if I win I promise to be the DUMBEST CUNT EVER. I will uphold my Dumb Cunt title with dignity and grace. I will get drunk and say things that would embarrass even Dude (the cat). And Dude is one unflappable character. I will flash my nether regions to innocent Catholic schoolgirls (18 and over only please) in their cute little schoolgirl uniforms. I will do HNT BUCK-FUCKING NAKED. Well maybe I'll throw a little something over a few bits and pieces. I will serve you all well with numerous postings filled with such funny stuff that you will guffaw. Yes, that is a word. I looked it up on Google to make sure I was spelling it right. Speaking of Google, I have a short "Sam is stupid" story to start the guffawing off right.
I may have said before that I am smart. However, I miss the REALLY obvious things. I was looking at the latest Google logo and was having serious trouble figuring out what the fuck it was. My first two thoughts were Binary and American Sign Language. I spent another couple of minutes pondering this while thinking it wasn't Binary and DUH! it wasn't sign language, it was Braille. How cool is that? Then I went to the "languages" page in Google to see if they had it listed as one of the available languages for converting web pages. I was so excited. And then I realized... Braille is for visually impaired people... and monitors don't have bumps. Gawd I'm a fucking moron sometimes. Happy Birthday to Louis Braille!
Note: For any/all of you geeks out there, if you would like to peruse Google's logo archives, click here. This is the link to the holiday logos, but there are other cool logo links on the page.
What was my point? Because of TOTALLYFUCKINGAWESOMERAD (that's for you, Corinna) people like JoeC and Nessa posting about my yearning for Cunthood Glory I am currently in first place for Dumb Cunt of The Year. Only by three votes, but fuckall if you guys aren't trying for me!! The contest ends January 17th, and if I win I promise to be the DUMBEST CUNT EVER. I will uphold my Dumb Cunt title with dignity and grace. I will get drunk and say things that would embarrass even Dude (the cat). And Dude is one unflappable character. I will flash my nether regions to innocent Catholic schoolgirls (18 and over only please) in their cute little schoolgirl uniforms. I will do HNT BUCK-FUCKING NAKED. Well maybe I'll throw a little something over a few bits and pieces. I will serve you all well with numerous postings filled with such funny stuff that you will guffaw. Yes, that is a word. I looked it up on Google to make sure I was spelling it right. Speaking of Google, I have a short "Sam is stupid" story to start the guffawing off right.
I may have said before that I am smart. However, I miss the REALLY obvious things. I was looking at the latest Google logo and was having serious trouble figuring out what the fuck it was. My first two thoughts were Binary and American Sign Language. I spent another couple of minutes pondering this while thinking it wasn't Binary and DUH! it wasn't sign language, it was Braille. How cool is that? Then I went to the "languages" page in Google to see if they had it listed as one of the available languages for converting web pages. I was so excited. And then I realized... Braille is for visually impaired people... and monitors don't have bumps. Gawd I'm a fucking moron sometimes. Happy Birthday to Louis Braille!Note: For any/all of you geeks out there, if you would like to peruse Google's logo archives, click here. This is the link to the holiday logos, but there are other cool logo links on the page.
More Important Note:
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Clicky on the link (upper left of my sidebar)
Dumb Cunt Category
Tell A Friend
posted by Sam at
6:04 PM
4 Comments:
dude - you're behind - what can we do?????
ok then, sex + blogging, yep, can be done, you can do an audioblog ya know..... or type while on sideways, a bit slow ut you'll get there. cheers!
Okay, I voted because of all the promises you made, even though I know you'll never keep them. You're like in second now. I'll vote from work tomorrow with a different IP address. The things I'll do for a beautiful woman!
Well, if everyone is the right height, couldn't you put the laptop on the kitchen table and lean over? :)
I saw the google thing today too! I got it almost immediately! But I usually miss the obvious like you. I must just be having a good day.
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