Growing Up

Chicken is getting so big. Not as in "next candidate for the Biggest Loser" but as in maturing in many ways. Our communication has changed over the last couple of years. I go through phases where I call him "numbnuts", as in "okay numbnuts, get in the car" or "hey numbnuts, are you going to do your homework?" Think of it as my own twisted pet name for him. His usual response to this endearment?

Chicken: (with mock outrage) My nuts aren't numb!

Yesterday, it all changed in a Hallmark moment. His witty reply to "numbnuts"?

Chicken: Okay, numbvagina.

It doesn't roll off the tongue like numbnuts, but he has a point. Speaking of numb vaginas, have any of you (women) every had your lip(s) fall asleep? I mean THOSE lips. You sit in a peculiar way, and the next thing you know, numblips. At least they don't get that horrible tingly feeling when they wake up.

And just because I was up wondering where the term "numbnuts" came from, I looked it up. According to answers.com, numbnuts is Marine lingo, "meaning ignorant or untrainable. Used often by drill instructors to describe recruits." I think I'm using it in the untrainable way, although I'm strugging valiantly to train him. His future partner will thank me. I hope.