Fucking Liquid Morphine
I am not yet ready to discuss the whys and wheres and hows of my dad's passing. At this point I am simply amazed at the human capacity to say "I cannot fucking believe that you threw out the liquid morphine" when grieving and sadness should be the priority.
I would not be myself if I could not bury my pain and laugh at the fuckall that life is every day. I mean "fuckall" in a good way, the kind where you just have to laugh at the fuckedness of life because otherwise you'd find a nice dark corner to cry in and never get the shit done that you have to get done because there is NO ONE ELSE to do it.
Where does the morphine come into this so sad it's fucking funny story?? IT FUCKING DOESN'T. Because H3.2 threw it away. Let me crawl back a day or so....
H3.2 flew into Salt Lake City on Thursday evening to help me pack up my dad's house and take care of all the shit that one must take care of when one is the ONLY LIVING FAMILY MEMBER of one that passes away. Unless you count Chicken, and I only count him when he's not kicking up his heels in San Diego with his Grandmother, going to movies and playing with friends and shit.
So... H3.2 comes to help. H3.2 has a different opinion on drugs than I do. I like drugs. Lots of them are very tasty and good for you. That does not mean that I frequently smoke crack. It just means that I've on occasion done certain legal and illegal drugs, and currently I love various prescription drugs that keep me sane and breathing and free of "I'm allergic to my cat" sneezing. I have no problem with "better living through pharmaceuticals." My father, being on hospice care for these past 6 months has had free reign into the beauty of prescription drugs. One of those drugs is liquid morphine. Another is Ativan. I managed to keep the Ativan (there were only about 6 left) and take every fucking one and thoroughly enjoy them. However, H3.2 throws away the morphine against my EXPRESS WISHES. Now, I believe that when one is grieving one should be listened to, coddled and petted whenever one wants.
Ever heard of Karma? Well H3.2 has a problem navigating stairs. He falls up or down the stairs in our house approximately once per week. I've stopped the running and the "are you all right" nonsense because FUCK HOW MANY TIMES CAN ONE PERSON FALL UP OR DOWN THE STAIRS BEFORE THEY LEARN HOW TO FUCKING WALK? Today, H3.2 was walking down a few stairs that lead to my dad's house. They were icy because snow + above freezing temps + below freezing temps = ICE. He falls down them. He hurts himself rather badly. And I, the Queen of Empathy and Politeness say "I BET YOU WISH YOU HADN'T THROWN OUT THE FUCKING MORPHINE, HUH?!"
I would not be myself if I could not bury my pain and laugh at the fuckall that life is every day. I mean "fuckall" in a good way, the kind where you just have to laugh at the fuckedness of life because otherwise you'd find a nice dark corner to cry in and never get the shit done that you have to get done because there is NO ONE ELSE to do it.
Where does the morphine come into this so sad it's fucking funny story?? IT FUCKING DOESN'T. Because H3.2 threw it away. Let me crawl back a day or so....
H3.2 flew into Salt Lake City on Thursday evening to help me pack up my dad's house and take care of all the shit that one must take care of when one is the ONLY LIVING FAMILY MEMBER of one that passes away. Unless you count Chicken, and I only count him when he's not kicking up his heels in San Diego with his Grandmother, going to movies and playing with friends and shit.
So... H3.2 comes to help. H3.2 has a different opinion on drugs than I do. I like drugs. Lots of them are very tasty and good for you. That does not mean that I frequently smoke crack. It just means that I've on occasion done certain legal and illegal drugs, and currently I love various prescription drugs that keep me sane and breathing and free of "I'm allergic to my cat" sneezing. I have no problem with "better living through pharmaceuticals." My father, being on hospice care for these past 6 months has had free reign into the beauty of prescription drugs. One of those drugs is liquid morphine. Another is Ativan. I managed to keep the Ativan (there were only about 6 left) and take every fucking one and thoroughly enjoy them. However, H3.2 throws away the morphine against my EXPRESS WISHES. Now, I believe that when one is grieving one should be listened to, coddled and petted whenever one wants.
Ever heard of Karma? Well H3.2 has a problem navigating stairs. He falls up or down the stairs in our house approximately once per week. I've stopped the running and the "are you all right" nonsense because FUCK HOW MANY TIMES CAN ONE PERSON FALL UP OR DOWN THE STAIRS BEFORE THEY LEARN HOW TO FUCKING WALK? Today, H3.2 was walking down a few stairs that lead to my dad's house. They were icy because snow + above freezing temps + below freezing temps = ICE. He falls down them. He hurts himself rather badly. And I, the Queen of Empathy and Politeness say "I BET YOU WISH YOU HADN'T THROWN OUT THE FUCKING MORPHINE, HUH?!"
posted by Sam at
4:57 PM
22 Comments:
If there is ever a time to be dazed and confused supported by narcotics, it would now.....
I've got a few Percs I could send you ;)
My thoughts are still with you sweetie. I'm glad to see you here, and we're all sending you many thoughts and much love.
I think that response was the only truly appropriate one you could have said. And I bet it felt good, didn't it? Sorry about both your losses.
H3.2 - what the HELL where you thinking!!!!!!!
My sincerest condolances.
well, given the situation, i dont think you really could have said anything else at that moment... :)
hugs to you hun...
peace...
That was cold, but I like it.
Threw out the liquid morphine? Unbelievable! It's bringing tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
I'm one of those people who trip on the stairs at least once a week, but mine are carpeted.
I wouldn't have thrown the morphine out though!
Hey Sam, we miss you. What was H3.2 response if any to you sayin what you said. OMG it was FUNNY!!!
When my dad passed the hospice nurse took all the good stuff to include the liquid morphine.
Threw away the morphine. Is he new here? WTF?
It's true, karma will get ya every time!
I hope H3.2 has now learned his lesson. He probably hasn't, he IS a man, after all.
Take care. I have been where you are. If you need to talk ro spew or whatever, you knw where to find me.
It is not a good thing to go against the wishes of the grieving. Karma always has a way of coming back!! I loved your come back line. My thoughts are still with ya Sam.
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Ass-biting karma. Beautiful. I hope you did a little happy dance to top that comment off.
Continued virtual hugs for you.
Sam, I just wanted to drop by and express my deepest sympathies. There is not much to say at a time like this, except there is a huge community out here on the blogging planet and in blogging heaven that loves you like mad and wishes you all the best. I am sure you already know that, though.
When the dust settles H3.2 probably needs an operating system upgrade to get those drug dumping bugs out. Or call the exterminator. Well, maybe that's too harsh. Your call.
Hang in there sweetheart.
What an ass! Everyone knows that the only positive thing about an older person passing is that you get to raid their stash.
I thank my dead grandfather everytime I eat one of his darvocets.
Sweet stuff - hope this brightens your day a tad - you WON the AWARD!!!!
i'm sorry about your father. :|
Well, I hope this has been written with (hopefully) tongue in cheek humour.
I'm with H3.2 - sorry Sam,
but after living on liquid
morphine, morphine sulfate,for a few precious, lost years,
I really l00 percent believe liquid morphine is - for after
surgeries - for terminal
patients - Morphine 'itch' horrible Sorry Sweetie, but I'm with H3.2.
and, sorry to hear about H3.2's fall, but if he goes to the dr., and he
prescribes it to him, then
it's regulated.
Dangerous stuff, Sam, and
at this time, I'm so glad
he threw it out.
Not the popular opinion here, but Ativan - you bet, good for calming you
down and sleeping, without
the same ramifications.
Just thinking of your best
interests, my dear Sam.
and thanks H3.2 for chucking it- sorry
about the fall.
On a completely different
note, congrats on winning
your 'coveted' award Sam:)
With hugs and feeling like
I sound like I'm preachin'
which maybe I am. :))
Cathi
Cathi,
I think we all just want the best for Sam...
I have no personal experience with stuff like morphine but I can imagine some people like to numb themselves for a few days in a situation as this.
love and best wishes from us all Sammie!
I shouldn't laugh, I shouldn't laugh...okay, i have to laugh, that last part about falling down the stairs is just poetic!
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