Cocksucker

First: You must read the post below this one. Or simply vote by clicking "Dumb Cunt of the Year Award" button (left, look left dammit), scrolling down selecting my blog. The post below does have its moments, though.

Second: Two funnies for you because I'm in a good mood due to my "almost first place no longer in the lead but fuck it I'm happy anyways."

Those of you that are dear readers of mine know that my dad is battling emphysema and my mom (they've been divorced since the 70's but get along) has been getting messages from God that he (my dad) is going to die on XX dates. Well, he's lived past those dates. She needs a new God, better reception, bigger antenna, satellite radio, etc. My mother called and talked to one of my dad's hospice nurses today to inquire about my dad's health/general wellbeing. The nurse happened to be AT my dad's at the time. She held the phone out and said "Well Gramps, how are you doing?" His reply: "I'm dead." Go dad!! I was laughing my ass off when my mom told me that. Especially since she doesn't know that he knows about the "messages from God." Was that story convoluted enough for you? The next is simpler and classic "Sam" family.

H3.2, Chicken and I were watching the beginning of "The Biggest Loser" special tonight. I remarked that Chicken and I together don't weigh as much as most of the contestants. H3.2 made some snotty comment about my delusions of weight grandeur, I retorted back with "COCKSUCKER!" To which Chicken replied "Thanks, mom for adding to my vocabulary!" Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Don't worry, he already knows THAT word. Fuck.

Update: Go TEXAS! I'm actually checking in on the game for dear Nessa and Chicken was yelling "Go TEXAS!" WOO HOO~~ Nineteen seconds and TEXAS is WINNNINGGGG!!