The Saga Continues
Dearest DFAS,
Regarding our conversation yesterday afternoon, I am still in fucking shock over your overwhelming helpfulness. I did not think that this clusterfuck of a situation could get any more ridiculous, however you, in your stunning glory managed to achieve worthless nirvana and the precise definition of bureaucracy. Specifically, Miss Rogers in the reissue department, I cannot understand why you are such a total waste of humanity. When someone calls you more than 30 days after a check was issued, after jumping through hoops of fire with tigers growling at either side to check on the status of a NEW check, please show a teeny, tiny fucking bit of concern/sympathy/fucking NICENESS.
Do not tell me that Miss Reinwright is in the legal department with my fax, while you are in the reissue department and therefore the fax is not IN FRONT OF YOU so you cannot help me. I suggest you get off your civil servant ass and get the fax. Or, better yet, have Miss Reinwright fax it to you. I've heard that in some places, faxes can whiz from one place to another in minutes. Except in your office, when it takes TWO FUCKING WEEKS for you to get a fax. And then it doesn't go to the correct department.
Thank you for your instruction to re-fax my fax. As far as the speedy two week turnaround for the reissue of said check (after the two or three days you said it would take to receive the fax), let me be the first to say "WOW". How the fuck can you perform such miracles that must involve the contortion of basic physics and alter the speed of light. As I understand it, I will receive the check that I was supposed to have November 4th on or around CHRISTMAS.
Thanks a bunch,
Sam
PS Luckily, the piano tuner just called (an hour after he was supposed to arrive) and said that he will be here in 1/2 hour. So my pissatude is directed at him for the moment. And yes, for today pissatude is my made up word.
Regarding our conversation yesterday afternoon, I am still in fucking shock over your overwhelming helpfulness. I did not think that this clusterfuck of a situation could get any more ridiculous, however you, in your stunning glory managed to achieve worthless nirvana and the precise definition of bureaucracy. Specifically, Miss Rogers in the reissue department, I cannot understand why you are such a total waste of humanity. When someone calls you more than 30 days after a check was issued, after jumping through hoops of fire with tigers growling at either side to check on the status of a NEW check, please show a teeny, tiny fucking bit of concern/sympathy/fucking NICENESS.
Do not tell me that Miss Reinwright is in the legal department with my fax, while you are in the reissue department and therefore the fax is not IN FRONT OF YOU so you cannot help me. I suggest you get off your civil servant ass and get the fax. Or, better yet, have Miss Reinwright fax it to you. I've heard that in some places, faxes can whiz from one place to another in minutes. Except in your office, when it takes TWO FUCKING WEEKS for you to get a fax. And then it doesn't go to the correct department.
Thank you for your instruction to re-fax my fax. As far as the speedy two week turnaround for the reissue of said check (after the two or three days you said it would take to receive the fax), let me be the first to say "WOW". How the fuck can you perform such miracles that must involve the contortion of basic physics and alter the speed of light. As I understand it, I will receive the check that I was supposed to have November 4th on or around CHRISTMAS.
Thanks a bunch,
Sam
PS Luckily, the piano tuner just called (an hour after he was supposed to arrive) and said that he will be here in 1/2 hour. So my pissatude is directed at him for the moment. And yes, for today pissatude is my made up word.
posted by Sam at
11:22 AM
14 Comments:
You should start a "words to use when you are too pissed off for real words" dictionary. You come up with some good ones.
Coum By Ya my lord Coum By Ya... Take nice deep breathes and let the anger flow out of your body like the river flows down from the mountains... I hope that helped you Sam. If not kick the piano tuner in the butt as he is tunin your piano. Tell him the voices made you do it.
So, if you are still waiting for November's check, have you recieved December's check yet???
For fucksake! What a bunch of shit eating asswipes. Ugh. That would send me way over the edge. I hope those fucktards get it figured out for you. If not, my offer to drive up there and kick some civil servant ass still stands!
Kat- I'm still experiencing too much pissatude to consider the dictionary thing. I'll keep it in mind, though.
Manblogger- I ended up really liking the piano tuner. So now I have to take out my anger on the kid or the cat.
Gerbera- Guess what? Just got the mail. No December check yet. FUCK!!
Erin- I'm about two seconds away from requesting your assistance.
see i KNOW im not a people person... i HATE people who take jobs where they fucking KNOW they NEED to be nice TO PEPOPLE and they are fuckers. to them i saw go fuck yourself!!
I believe you spell "pissitude" with an "i"--not an "a". Anything I can do to help!
Corinna- I'm with you. Fuckers.
Osbasso- But I say it "pissatude" not "pissitude". And it's my word so there!!
Sam I Am: If this kind of writing continues, your quality could be up there with Dooce. Easily
First time, long time.
Your like an Ann Landers for assholes.
I think that word is gonna stick!
Pissatude is an EXCELLENT word. I need a poster with that on it over my head at all times.
I say take your anger out on the cat because if you kick the kid the kid could call Family Services... (you dont want that)think of it this way the cat wont tell.
Pissatude sounds better I think and its your blog so its your word.
spk- Thank you! I should put that on my blog somewhere "Ann Landers for Assholes".
DD- I hope so. I love it when words are sticky.
Andi- Love your new pic. I'll get to work on that poster right away!
Manblogger- Yeah, I'm not really into kicking kids or cats. I just vent on my blog/to everyone I see and then move onto my regularly scheduled life.
Thank you dahling. You're most accomodating.
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