Bad Words

In the past week, my darling Chicken has added two new words to his ever-expanding vocabulary:

1. Cunt
2. Hooker

The first was a direct result of my blog. He was looking over my shoulder, glanced at the first sentence of a post and said: "What does cunt mean Mommy?" Holy fuck. I don't care what 'Nessa says, I'm asking for the pretty, pretty Princess in Hell position.

The second one was at the movie theatre on Saturday. The 17 year-old boy selling the movie tickets wanted me to sign up for some points club. I asked, "Do I get a free hooker with that?" Damn, some days I just need to shut up. Chicken inquires, "What's a hooker, mommy?" I can feel the fires licking at my feet by this point. In the privacy of our vehicle after the movie I explained that a woman that has sex for money is a hooker, and the proper term is prostitute and that it is illegal.

The following day, Chicken turns to me and says:
"Mommy, interracial marriage is okay with me, gay marriage is fine, but hookers are not okay. I'm not one for what's proper and all, but that is just crossing the line. Can you imagine a kid picking up his cell phone and a hooker is calling him and asking to have sex with him? That's not good."

Okay... now I get the joy of explaining how a hooker works. Chicken is relieved that they don't do cold-calling, but still holds firm with his "not okay" stance. That's fine with me.

Now Sunday is Chicken's day to spend with my mother. They go to church, shop, eat too much junk food and have fun together. This past Sunday Chicken decided to check out his Bible. For some reason he read the story of Lot and his two daughters. In case you don't know this particular passage, here it is:

Genesis 19:30-38 (King James Version)

³⁰And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.

³¹And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:

³²Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

³³And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

³⁴And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

³⁵And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

³⁶Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

³⁷And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.

³⁸And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

After explaining to him why Lot's daughters got him drunk, fucked him and bore his children, I didn't feel quite so bad for his new vocabulary words.