Undies Drawer

Well everyone, it is Friday. That means everyone goes home to their families and ignores Sam's Stories until Monday. For those of you die-hard fans, here's a snippet of a recent AIM conversation I had with one of H3.2's buddies. I'm calling him "Squash" because his name rhymes with squash and he's... well... squash-like. Don't ask.

Squash: what are you upto?
Sam: 5'3"
Squash: that sucks (what does that mean?)
Sam: sitting wit kid on couch
Sam: kid coloring/drawing
Squash: aww
Sam: i draw picture, he colors 'em
Squash: i want to color
Squash: what do you draw pictures of?
Sam: some pokemon char
Sam: he said "draw this"
Sam: so i drew it
Squash: humm
Squash: are you a good drawer?
Sam: i suppose
Sam: people usually use me as a sock drawer
Sam: sometimes an undies drawer
Squash: umm...?

In other very uninspiring news, Chicken said to me today "Did you know that the longest bird penis in the world is 17 inches?" WTF?? Chicken received a 2006 edition of the Guinness Book of World Records for his birthday and apparently this bird's penis is worthy of an entry in the Natural World Birds section (see page 88 if you have one). Chicken went on to describe said penis in detail. Here's what the book states:

The penis of the Argentinian lake drake [Oxyura vittata] has been measured everted [upside down] and unwound at 16.7 in [42.5 cm]. The base of this retractable penis is covered with spines, yet the tip is soft and brush-like.

Why does anyone need to know this? I suppose if I'm in Argentina and REALLY hard up for an interesting tourist attraction I could unwind some bird penis for kicks.

Note to self: When in Argentina, look for the blue-billed duck.