Silence!

I have been working my ass off lately. That is not good, considering I don't have much of an ass to work off in the first place. I have no time to blog, read your lovely/crappy blogs, or take potty breaks. However, Chicken takes every single opportunity he has when we are together to talk, talk, talk, OMG please just for a second STOP TALKING! Don't get me wrong, I love talking to my son. But sometimes, he just babbles on and on and on about nothing and I am wondering who I have to call in order to be committed. Not for a long time, just a year or two would probably do the trick. By that time, he will be at the age where he doesn't want to talk to me. I can dream, can't I?

So Chicken is doing a project on Tide Pools in California. This project includes a poster board, a map, pictures and a speech. I get stuck with a horrid trip to Walmart to buy poster board. Have I mentioned that I hate that place? I would have gone to Michael's, but Walmart was on the way between my client's house and my house. I was in my work clothes and Holy Fuck why do you people have to stare at me like I'm the only person EVER IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD to wear a suit in Walmart? No, you cannot undress me with your eyes. Do not smile at me in a manner that suggests you are in the process of mentally slipping off my panties. Oh, and Mr. Walmart employee that I had to question about the Xbox 360-- growing your hair longer does not hide the fact that you are going very bald. Your greasy hair strewn across your pink scalp grosses me out. A lot. By the way, "a lot" is TWO words. I just needed to say that.

On to what got me to finally take a second and blog... Chicken was babbling. I finally told him that if he didn't keep quiet for five minutes he was going to do his project in his room. He babbled. I glared and said "SILENCE" in my sternest mommy voice. I'm really scary when I'm stern. Chicken was so terrified that he started to sing. I gave him the WHAT THE FUCK look and he grinned. "You said silence, so I'm singing Silent Night" Chicken explains. Oh my God. This is definitely my child.