Gag Reflex

There is a person in my life that I admire and enjoy being around. He makes me laugh, teaches me things and tries to help me become a better person. He also fucks with me constantly, it is simply the way our relationship works. We'll call him Horse, as he is fond of horse racing and wants to own and breed race horses when he "grows up".

One day Horse called me Mrs. Robinson in front of a room full of people, because I'm five years older than H3.2. The room was suddenly quiet, and then erupted into laughter. I actually blushed. I never blush, dammit. After that, it was time for pay back.

Horse asked me one day what it is that draws men to me and makes them become my love slaves. Well, he didn't put it quite like that but you get the picture. I couldn't answer him, because I simply do not know. I'm not beautiful, I don't have a huge rack, I'm not the sweetest, easiest person to be around. So what the fuck is it? Why does H3.2 love me so?

I went to H3.2 and asked him what endearing qualities I possess that make me sooo special. No, not like short bus special. I mean like hearts and fucking flowers special. He couldn't think of anything. I guess saying "Well you put out real nice like" isn't what a girl wants to hear so he just pleaded ignorance. That wasn't a good enough answer to report back to Horse, so we thunk and thunk harder. Okay, so maybe that thunking was the bed against the wall or something. We came up with the perfect answer, inspired by a Disney video of cute little bunnies and sunshine that we had watched earlier in the night. Or the chicks shoving huge dildos down their throats like sword swallowers.... That was an interesting video.

The next day I sat down with Horse and tell him that H3.2 gave me the answer to the burning "What's so great about Sam" question. My answer:

I have no gag reflex.

Horse is speechless. He starts to blush and I'm almost on the floor, laughing my ass off. I've never seen him blush. I've never seen him speechless. The moment was priceless.

Now, some of you might be wondering why this is extraordinary. I'm known for my vulgarity, so why would this shock anyone? Let's just say, between me and you and the whole internet community including those of you that come here looking for "I fucked my mother in the ass" stories that I see Horse five days a week. During the day. Light bulb? In addition, Horse is in a position of authority. Yes, it is exactly what you are thinking. I have huge balls.

By the way, I do have a gag reflex.