Mommy Has Balls
I'm missing my kid something fierce these days. Counting down until August 21st... So I have a quick kid story for you. For those of you that hate kids (as I apparently do according to anonymous-and I'm seeking counseling, I promise) this story is still pretty amusing. Kids go through phases. Mine goes through some of the ordinary phases, however he has bonus ones that only my kid could think of doing. Hence, the mommy has balls phase. It all started like this:
M: You have balls Mommy.
Sam: No I don't.
M: Yes you do, I've seen them. You have balls. (laughs hysterically)
Sam: NO I DO NOT HAVE BALLS. GIRLS DO NOT HAVE BALLS.
M: Yes you do. You have balls.
Sam: I DO NOT HAVE BALLS.
M: Yes you do!
You get the picture. Think of this conversation happening every day. He figured out that this bothered me and stuck with it. For a long, long time. Why did this bother me? I have no fucking clue. I know I don't have balls. He knows I don't have balls. He knows that I know that I don't have freakin balls. I DON'T HAVE BALLS!!
M: You have balls Mommy.
Sam: No I don't.
M: Yes you do, I've seen them. You have balls. (laughs hysterically)
Sam: NO I DO NOT HAVE BALLS. GIRLS DO NOT HAVE BALLS.
M: Yes you do. You have balls.
Sam: I DO NOT HAVE BALLS.
M: Yes you do!
You get the picture. Think of this conversation happening every day. He figured out that this bothered me and stuck with it. For a long, long time. Why did this bother me? I have no fucking clue. I know I don't have balls. He knows I don't have balls. He knows that I know that I don't have freakin balls. I DON'T HAVE BALLS!!
posted by Sam at
11:55 AM
17 Comments:
You've got some balls for posting that story!
Some of us feel as if we do sometimes! (lol)
Thanks for visiting my site, hope you will come back!! (smiling)
Osbasso- Thanks! I do have balls, just not LITERAL balls dammit!
Suzie- I will most certainly be back!
Maybe your son KNOWS something you don't. Maybe they are stuck on your back and you can't tell they are there and he is trying to tell you. MAYBE, he can see the future and he KNOWS that you are getting a sex change operation in 20 years.
Ok. I am not helping I know. But he got your goat sister. Homeboy won. That makes me proud. He will be an excellent blogger someday. Sniff... it's beautiful really.
Maybe he's mistaking boobs for balls! Both are literally fun for the opposite gender! (Or can LEAD to it! I have even heard it sometimes is fun for the SAME gender, but what do I know? Nada!)
Anna- Yeah, he kicks my ass every day. He'd be a great blogger...the shit he comes up with amazes me. I'll have H3.2 check out my back tonight. As far as the sex change... I'm pretty happy with my vag. But if I change my mind, you'll be the first to know!
Richard- He knows all about boobs, he loves 'em. (Not mine of course) He's just fucking with me. It's his favorite pasttime.
Is there something you're not telling us? You know how bluntly honest kids can be! :) I'm starting to think that 2nd Half-Nekkid Thursday might not've been H3.2 after all... ;)
Not too long ago my littlest fell and hurt her cooter. My son, who had just learned that balls are also sometimes called testicles, came running in from the backyard yelling "KADY HURT HER TESTICLES!! KADY HURT HER TESTICLES!!" As I ran out to rescue my ball-less daughter, I said, "Son, we have got to talk."
My god daughter asked me if I had balls and I said no. So she kicked me in the balls and called me a lyer.
This cracks me up. How old is your pisser child? :) These kids are too funny. We are in SO much trouble. Talk to you later.
That's great! One time I was wearing a shortie nightgown and two year old Gus told me he could see my 'china'.
Ick.
Holy shit. Just came back to check the comments.... Red Neck Diva and Aughra both made me spit out my water. Nice stuff.
DD- I DO NOT HAVE BALLS. REALLY.
Redneck- You said cooter! I'm telling!
Vince- Your goddaughter is my kinda gal. Sorry about the boys, though. That must have hurt.
Marel- The pisser child will be 9 in October. He thinks he's 40.
Aughra- China. Kinda like Vagina. Breakable, and only eaten on special occasions.
Anna- Glad my comments sections can make you spit. Might try swallowing next time. I've heard it's more appreciated.
ROFL!! There are a handful of sites that I get just as tickled reading the comments as I do the actual blog. This is one. (Just in case you didn't figure that out.)
you have balls???? wow - learn somethin' new every day ;)
Redneck Diva-Don't hurt your cooter laughing! I'd feel responsible.
Nessa- I DO NOT HAVE BALLS. NO BALLS. NO SCROTUM. NOTTA. Okay, maybe little balls.
whatever, you've totally got balls
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