I Have a Venereal Disease

Actually, it's far worse than that. I've been tagged by Redneck Diva. I think a nice outbreak of herpes right now would be more enjoyable. Festering sores and all.. Or so they tell me. So here are my lame-assed answers. But first, a question: What the fuck is a meme?

Five Light Reads:

1. Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite. A picture book for kids explaining that dad is gay and in love with his roommate.
2. Forever by Judy Blume. A novel about teens embarking on sexual relationships, Forever (published in 1975) was one of the first books in which teenage sexual activity did not result in such "punishments" as unplanned pregnancy, a dangerous illegal abortion, or death.
3. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein. Classic guide to gay male sex.
4. Deenie by Judy Blume. Deenie is one of author Judy Blume's most banned books due to its non-graphic, yet straightforward, depiction of masturbation.
5. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday. Collection of women’s sexual fantasies, with the theme of dominance.

By the way, all of these books and descriptions I found at about.com. They are five of the top fifteen most banned sex books, not in any particular oder. I've only read the two Judy Blume books and she has three on the top fifteen. She's really cranking out the filth. Go Judy! The rest of the books are on boring things like puberty and what to expect from your body. I guess the townsfolk get real fired up about teaching their sons and daughters about things like menstruation and nocturnal emissions. Because if you don't talk about them with your kids, they won't happen. Ever. Your kid could be like Peter Pan and always play with other "Lost Boys". Hmm... even that sounds like something that should be banned. Down with sex education, up with unplanned teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted disease. Hurray for my herpes. Oops. That kind of just slipped in there.

Five Reads To Make Me Think:
Think about what? I'm changing this one to "Five books I have on my bookshelf".

1. East of Eden by John Steinbeck: I read East of Eden in high school for the first time. I've read it many times since. It has to be one of my favorite books of all time. I hated the Grapes of Wrath.
2. Imajica by Clive Barker: Bizarre, twisted and wonderful, just like me. But on steroids.
3. A Hearbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers: I liked this book, not the greatest and certainly not genius; however his thoughts on raising his brother I could totally understand.
4. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson: Great geek fantasy book. I own several of his works.
5. Bastard out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison: I read this in college and I will never forget it. The movie does not do it justice.

Five Songs Which Turn Me On:

1. Band: Tool Album: Undertow Song: Prison Sex
2. Band: Nine Inch Nails Album: The Downward Spiral Song: Closer
3. Band: Nine Inch Nails Album: The Purest Feeling Song: The Only Time

I'm just going to stop here before I dig myself any deeper. The first choice is self-explanatory. Who doesn't enjoy some light-hearted prison sex? If you know the second choice, you're smiling or gagging right now. And the third choice reminds me of someone long ago.

Five Best Movie Dramas:

I'd like to take a moment to explain my abhorrence of favorites. I've never liked to choose favorites. In fact I didn't have a favorite color until second grade. All my classmates had favorite colors and I was tired of being asked "What's your favorite color?" by some snot-nosed moron. So I picked yellow. It's not a girl color, not a common favorite, and it can express a variety of emotions. I'll never change it because that would require thought about favorites. Which I despise. I am only doing this dastardly thing out of respect for the Redneck Diva, she of Miss (Some Letters Here) fame. I will never do another favorites list again. I may someday do a "Few Things About Me" post, which will likely include more stories about my bowel movement history. Good times.