Gay Story #2
For those of you that missed my first Gay Story, the same disclaimers hold true. For those of you that refuse to scroll down, here's a reprint:
M: "The guy that cut my hair put green gel in it and spiked it up in the front. He was gay."
Sam: "What?!"
Earlier in the summer M had heard his step-sister use the word "gay" as a derogative term (see disclaimer #2) and then M used it on the phone with me to describe a video game. I chewed his ass over that one. As my child is the ultimate hair product hater I assumed he was using it in the same manner. I started to go off again when he stopped me.
M: "No Mommy, I mean like actually gay. But then he wouldn't have a job then, would he?"
Sam: "What are you talking about?"
M: "Well, because being gay is illegal so of course he wouldn't be able to have a job."
Sam: "M, it is not illegal and he can have a job. We'll talk about it when you get home."
So now I have a dilemma and I'm really confused. M and I have had many talks about all different types of people. I have taught him that we are all people, no matter what we look like or who we love or what religion we practice. He does know about the fight for gays and lesbians to have the right to marry as we listen to NPR in the car frequently and we have discussed the issue at length. He doesn't understand why it is not legal for any consenting adult to marry another. So he might be confused and equate illegal to marry with illegal to BE gay. And, yes I am aware that certain acts are illegal in certain places. But I'm not about to go there with an 8 year old.
My other thought is that he has talked to his dad about this topic. His father's feeling on homosexuality is that it is "an abomination in the eyes of God". Yes, that is a direct quote. Please don't comment "Why the fuck would you marry this guy?" because I didn't know about his loving view of mankind before we got married. Read this post for background on my marriages. It is possible that good ole dad told M that being gay is illegal. I don't know.
Is my kid confused or being fed crap by his redneck anti-everyone that is not white and heterosexual and Christian and not a chain smoking while the kids are in the car father? Sorry Redneck Diva for the redneck comment. I'm sure there are good and bad rednecks just like any other segment of the population. Okay, I just lied there. You're the only good redneck I ever met/didn't meet but read some stuff online that makes me think that you're a good redneck. Whew. So, I have to talk to the kid when he gets home next Sunday. Hopefully he was just confused and not programmed by evil rednecks.
Speaking of husbands, here's a short exchange between Teddy Bear and I (on AIM) that I thought was fairly amusing. Please excuse grammar, spelling and generally fucking over of the English language. It's AIM. And I know it's juvenile to get excited about dating someone for five months. But I'm an immature schoolgirl when it comes to H3.2. Actually I'm just immature.
Sam: man wants to take me out for anniversary
Sam: it was yesterday and we both forgot
Sam: cause we sux like that
TB: ahh
Sam: 5 months!!
TB: dizamn
TB: almost time to get married!
Sam: ew!!
Sam: marriage evil
TB: you just say that because you've ruined 2 of them
1. For those of you that don't like gay people, think being gay is a personal choice and think that God will smite "those people" bloody some day, please stop reading. Actually, you don't ever have to read this blog again. Really. I'm serious.My son called me the other day to tell me about his new haircut. The last time he got a haircut while staying with his dad my poor child looked like he was about to go to boot camp. As school is starting in a week and a half, I don't want my kid to look like a moron. M reassured me that he had gotten a normal "boy" cut and it looked fine. That's when the conversation turned weird.
2. For those of you that think the title "Gay Story" means that I'm using the lately popular term "gay" to mean stupid or lame, you are wrong. I'm actually talking about stories that involve, (gasp!) gay people. That is, for you inbred morons out there, people that love and have intimate relationships with the same sex. Now, I'm not gay, so if you are and I'm screwing this definition up, I'm sorry. Feel free to enlighten me.
M: "The guy that cut my hair put green gel in it and spiked it up in the front. He was gay."
Sam: "What?!"
Earlier in the summer M had heard his step-sister use the word "gay" as a derogative term (see disclaimer #2) and then M used it on the phone with me to describe a video game. I chewed his ass over that one. As my child is the ultimate hair product hater I assumed he was using it in the same manner. I started to go off again when he stopped me.
M: "No Mommy, I mean like actually gay. But then he wouldn't have a job then, would he?"
Sam: "What are you talking about?"
M: "Well, because being gay is illegal so of course he wouldn't be able to have a job."
Sam: "M, it is not illegal and he can have a job. We'll talk about it when you get home."
So now I have a dilemma and I'm really confused. M and I have had many talks about all different types of people. I have taught him that we are all people, no matter what we look like or who we love or what religion we practice. He does know about the fight for gays and lesbians to have the right to marry as we listen to NPR in the car frequently and we have discussed the issue at length. He doesn't understand why it is not legal for any consenting adult to marry another. So he might be confused and equate illegal to marry with illegal to BE gay. And, yes I am aware that certain acts are illegal in certain places. But I'm not about to go there with an 8 year old.
My other thought is that he has talked to his dad about this topic. His father's feeling on homosexuality is that it is "an abomination in the eyes of God". Yes, that is a direct quote. Please don't comment "Why the fuck would you marry this guy?" because I didn't know about his loving view of mankind before we got married. Read this post for background on my marriages. It is possible that good ole dad told M that being gay is illegal. I don't know.
Is my kid confused or being fed crap by his redneck anti-everyone that is not white and heterosexual and Christian and not a chain smoking while the kids are in the car father? Sorry Redneck Diva for the redneck comment. I'm sure there are good and bad rednecks just like any other segment of the population. Okay, I just lied there. You're the only good redneck I ever met/didn't meet but read some stuff online that makes me think that you're a good redneck. Whew. So, I have to talk to the kid when he gets home next Sunday. Hopefully he was just confused and not programmed by evil rednecks.
Speaking of husbands, here's a short exchange between Teddy Bear and I (on AIM) that I thought was fairly amusing. Please excuse grammar, spelling and generally fucking over of the English language. It's AIM. And I know it's juvenile to get excited about dating someone for five months. But I'm an immature schoolgirl when it comes to H3.2. Actually I'm just immature.
Sam: man wants to take me out for anniversary
Sam: it was yesterday and we both forgot
Sam: cause we sux like that
TB: ahh
Sam: 5 months!!
TB: dizamn
TB: almost time to get married!
Sam: ew!!
Sam: marriage evil
TB: you just say that because you've ruined 2 of them
posted by Sam at
1:15 PM
12 Comments:
wow...this definitely deserves a convo...
interesting how some people can have such a closed mind when it comes to things like this...i am sorry that you are having to battle this...
peace...
I'm sure you and your son will get it all straightened out when he comes home. Teddy Bear sounds like a great friend--only he/she could tease you like that. :)
Monkey- I'm not too worried, M has lived with me full-time since he was 2 1/2. I've programmed him pretty well.
Marel- Teddy Bear is a new friend since I met him through H3.2. He's really cool, doesn't seem to mind my mouth too much and I enjoy hanging out with him and H3.2.
good for you! :)
peace...
I don't look forward to that talk with my daughter. Let us all know how it turns out!
My redneck inlaws are sure to put plenty of bad stuff about gay people in her head.
by the way, it's good to see some openmindedness. glad to see M's got a mom who's got it right.
yay! M comes home!!! And you get to fix him!!!!!!! :) cute story there!!
Kat- I'll update everyone after I talk with him.
DD- I try!
Nessa- I'm good at fixing shit! And I can't wait until I see his cute little face getting off the plane.
Yah, that was my funny comment for the day. After that, it was all downhill.
TB- Nah, you're always amusing. But that was priceless. It was blogworthy. I think that's an oxymoron.
No offense taken, m'dear. I'm sadly blown away that I'm the only good redneck you've met/haven't met. I am not offended by redneck remarks in general, because even I have to admit that we, as a general rule, aren't always nice folks. I mean, most of the rednecks I am friends with are as awesome as I am, but then we go to the tractor pulls and meet the other ones. And Mr. Diva, even though he's a nice guy and all, thinks being gay is "an abomination in the eyes of God" as well. So much so that he doesn't even get turned on by girl/girl scenes in porn. Do you know how hard it is to watch girl/girl porn in fast forward? Gives me such a headache...
I'm sure you'll handle the conversation with the boy well. We will undoubtedly have the same conversations in my house - and it's going to confuse the crap out of the kids when I tell them gay is okay and Daddy says all gays are going to hell all in the same night. Ahh...parenting in the redneck midwest.
well sam i hate to break this to you but you just met another (kick ass cool one)....i know i know i seem so CITY. BUT at heart i am PURE BLOOD REDNECK...i swear. i grew up in the far north of bc on a little mountain in the bushes with no tv (well 1 channel 2 on REALLY good days) AND we were on a party line which means you and the whole 'road' share the same phone line. FUN....SO FUN! we had a well and heated the house through a wood furnace. people are rather shocked when i tell them this. rather.
also we spent summers portaging (have no idea if that is the right spelling…you have your canoe and packs and everything you need…tent etc and you go!!) and camping EVERYWHERE all over bc.
i now live in vancouver’s gay mecca and i LOVE the gays. i think i do use GAY a little too much but i sux like that and have issues dropping sayings once i get them in my head.
i am sure the conversation will go well with your son. he seems extremely bright !
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