Simply Disgusting

My name is Sam and I'm a bookworm. In times of book deprivation, I will read just about anything. I try not to buy books because they only last a couple of days. When I was a wee little girl, my mother would restrict me from reading when I got in trouble instead of the usual television, playing with friends, etc. One time we went to a restaurant when I was grounded from reading and my mother asked me what I wanted to eat. My reply: "I don't know, I can't read the menu. I'm grounded from reading, remember?" I used to be a smart ass.

Finding the vast land of blogging could be dangerous for me. If not for little things like my job, my kid, friends and H3.2 I would probably spend my life reading blog after blog. It's more financially prudent than buying books, I have a vast array of funny/neurotic/scary things to read, and I'm really nosy. I'm also armed with a comfortable couch, H3.2's laptop and a wireless, high speed internet connection. Yesterday I wasn't feeling the greatest, so I sat on my ass and read. When H3.2 got home I took a shower (he said my two weeks were up and it was time to scrub my filthy ass). When I got out of the shower, he noticed that I had these weird marks all over my sexy naked ass. You know how sometimes you get sheet marks on your face from sleeping in the same position all night? I had marks on my butt from sitting on my ass for so long!!

You're probably asking yourself why I'm babbling about this.... Yesterday I found Madman. I laughed, I cried. I read the whole fucking blog in one sitting. He seems to post something new every work day. The blog is centered around a co-worker of his that has less than stellar hygienic habits and is aptly described as a "cunt". Here's my recommendation: Start at the bottom. Skip the couple of posts not about the Disgusting Girl. Read, laugh, don't pee your pants. Okay, you can pee your pants. Just make sure that you swap them out for clean ones before you develop an itchy, red rash. And please shower before said rash turns into a oozing, green, pus-filled sore. I'm only looking out for you. And your co-workers.