Beastiality - You Have Been Warned!

I met someone in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago and instantly knew that I had to introduce him to Ewe Girl. I got his phone number and he came down to San Diego for a double date with H3.2 and I. I clicked mentally with this guy, he is one sick fucker and I loved it. Ewe girl is dark and twisted, and she loves scrawny boyish-looking guys. This guy fit the bill perfectly. H3.2 nicknamed him Stewie. We met up to go downtown and find some food and booze. We were at our second bar when Stewie blurted out some random shit.

Stewie: If you had to fuck an animal which one would it be? 'Cause I'd fuck a doe. They have such soft, brown eyes.

Now, I'm all for interesting conversation. But Stewie had obviously put a lot of thought into this one. Rarely have I been one-upped in nasty conversation. He did it. Here's the picture he sent me as an explanation of his decision. Wow. So that got the ball rolling. H3.2 decided that a tiger would do the trick. Ewe Girl declined to answer. I thought about it long and hard for a couple of days. I don't see animals that way. I did some Google searches on penises, because I didn't want to get injured in the hypothetical process. I didn't want to pick some generic animal like a dog. Who wants to fuck a dog? I wanted to be creative and have a good argument for my choice of animal sex partner. So I decided on a Kangaroo. The ability to stand on two legs was a factor, as was the general soft, furry appearance. Please don't comment telling me that a kangaroo can kill a man with one kick. I'm not really going to find a kangaroo and screw it. This is just something funny/twisted/awful to think about. I also liked the idea of curling up in its pouch afterwards. What a benefit! I even found a great picture of a kangaroo, detailing its um parts. It doesn't look too painful. At least compared to a horse or something of that size. Teddy Bear (friend of H3.2) said that it looked like a carrot. I think it's pretty gross. But, I had to live up to my reputation as a foul-mouthed bitch so I had to come up with something, right?

I asked TB about what animal he would do, and he had to think about it for a week or so. Finally I pinned him down on AIM one night and his response was: "See, i'm more concerned about catching the animal, making sure i don't get hurt and then not have it fight me for 23 seconds until i finish." H3.2 had the same concern with the tiger. TB decided a Koala Bear would be nice, without the razor sharp claws and the nasty attitude. Sounds like a typical chick to me, though. At least you know Koala Bears are going to kick your ass.