I Just Need To Vent
I'm bored. My kid (M) is on the east coast for TWO months. H3.2 is having crazy fun setting up new servers at work. I'm not used to being bored. But I am. Bored. I'm too tired to do anything constructive, like clean, exercise. I'd be down for some nookie but without H3.2, I'd have to go solo. And that's too much work for me right now. So I'm cooking some yummy GF penne (dripping sarcasm) and blogging. Do I have a life? Did I leave it around here someplace? It's amazing to me how lost I feel without my kid around. Even though he would be fast asleep by now. Fuck. This sucks. I do have a purpose for this post. I was driving to my office today (something I do several times a week) and I thought, once again, that people are total fucking imbeciles.
I drive to work on a highway that has two lanes going east, and two going west. Is that considered a four lane highway? Even if the east and west are separated by a big space? It doesn't matter. What does matter is that the speed limit is 65. There are two lanes. A fast lane and a slow lane. (The fast lane is on the left, dummy!) In other parts of the country, the fast lane is the passing lane. I like this concept. Use the lane to pass the fucking slow people in the right lane, and then get the hell out of the way of the speed demon that is slowly entering your anus. Either way, here is my theory on the fast lane. I understand that it's not original, but DAMMIT people, pay attention.
When you are in the left lane and there is no one behind you and there are slower cars in the right lane, you are just fine. However, if someone comes up behind you, that means...wait..stop...here is a revelation that you must pay attention to: it means that they want to go FASTER and you should get the fuck out of the way. Otherwise, the person behind you may employ dangerous passing and tailgating maneuvers to get you out of their way. And that, ladies and gentlemen leads to accidents. Accidents are bad.
Now, some of you are saying: "I was going 70 and that's over the speed limit so why should I get over?" Because to you, Grandma, 70 is the speed of light. To an angry young man (who hasn't gotten laid EVER) 70 is what they do in a parking lot. Just before sliding into a spot. Do you want to risk your life over your version of "fast"? Just get over. Now. Traffic will flow more smoothly, and you won't piss someone off so badly that they do something stupid and cause an accident.
If there are 15 cars lined up behind you, and you're going 85 with 1/2 mile between you and the person in front of you, get the fuck out of the way. You aren't going fast enough for those people, and therefore you are holding up traffic. I don't care if you're going 120mph on a surface street. Just move. Please. There will always be someone wanting to go faster. Let them claim their Darwin's Award on their own.
I drive to work on a highway that has two lanes going east, and two going west. Is that considered a four lane highway? Even if the east and west are separated by a big space? It doesn't matter. What does matter is that the speed limit is 65. There are two lanes. A fast lane and a slow lane. (The fast lane is on the left, dummy!) In other parts of the country, the fast lane is the passing lane. I like this concept. Use the lane to pass the fucking slow people in the right lane, and then get the hell out of the way of the speed demon that is slowly entering your anus. Either way, here is my theory on the fast lane. I understand that it's not original, but DAMMIT people, pay attention.
When you are in the left lane and there is no one behind you and there are slower cars in the right lane, you are just fine. However, if someone comes up behind you, that means...wait..stop...here is a revelation that you must pay attention to: it means that they want to go FASTER and you should get the fuck out of the way. Otherwise, the person behind you may employ dangerous passing and tailgating maneuvers to get you out of their way. And that, ladies and gentlemen leads to accidents. Accidents are bad.
Now, some of you are saying: "I was going 70 and that's over the speed limit so why should I get over?" Because to you, Grandma, 70 is the speed of light. To an angry young man (who hasn't gotten laid EVER) 70 is what they do in a parking lot. Just before sliding into a spot. Do you want to risk your life over your version of "fast"? Just get over. Now. Traffic will flow more smoothly, and you won't piss someone off so badly that they do something stupid and cause an accident.
If there are 15 cars lined up behind you, and you're going 85 with 1/2 mile between you and the person in front of you, get the fuck out of the way. You aren't going fast enough for those people, and therefore you are holding up traffic. I don't care if you're going 120mph on a surface street. Just move. Please. There will always be someone wanting to go faster. Let them claim their Darwin's Award on their own.
posted by Sam at
10:09 PM
2 Comments:
OMG-classic....SO TRUE. My favorite, though, is when you're doing oh, about 90, and some guy behind you is riding your ass...WHAT? At that point, i say "you can f*cking go around me, i ain't movin'"
Sorry your son is away... :( go buys yourself something pretty ;)
GFI- I hate to say it, but you're not obeying "Sam's Law of The Fast Lane". Even if you're going 200 you have to pull over. It's how the law works, even if the person behind you is a total moron.
I've been too busy at work to buy myself something sparkly, but it's on my to-do list for this weekend. H3.2 is helping, though. He just bought a 60" tv for the living room. It eases my sorrows quite a bit! My kid wants me to take a picture of it and email it to him, he's so excited!
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