Crazy Stalker Fun

Many years ago I dated a young man named Jason. A mutual friend introduced us. He seemed nice enough, he was taking classes at the local community college and working full time. After a few outings I realized that the guy was dumber than a mud fence. Example: He used deodorant (without antiperspirant) and did not understand why he still sweated and STUNK to high heaven. Wow. There are many things that I can tolerate in a mate, and stupidity is not one of them. So I broke it off. He continued to call me. I told him nicely that I didn't want to see him anymore. I screened my calls. He called day and night. I finally told him to fuck off. He still didn't get it. So one day, I devised a plan. I picked up the phone when he called and invited him to a picnic at the beach. I told him that I would pack a basket of goodies and we could hang out together. Any person with half a brain would have smelled a rat. Especially when I told him to pick me up early on Saturday morning. (I hate the morning. I think mornings should be cancelled. Permanently.)

Then I called one of my best guy friends, and asked him to spend the night on Friday night. He slept on the couch. Thirty minutes before Jason was supposed to come over and pick me up, I woke up my friend, and had him get in bed with me (a twin bed). I put on a sexy little thing, opened some condoms, threw the condoms away and left the wrappers on the floor. I tossed a pair of cute panties and a bra on the floor of my room. I had my friend strip down to his boxers. We waited for Jason to knock on the door. My roommate's boyfriend answered the door and directed Jason to my room.

Jason opened my bedroom door and here is the ensuing conversation:

Jason: Uh, are you ready to go? I thought we were going to the beach.

Sam: Oh, I'm so tired, I've been up alll night. (I can't believe he's still standing there!!)

Jason: Well, are we going?

So, at this point I'm trying to keep a straight face. I can not believe this guy. Shouldn't he be pissed off, freaking out, screaming and running out the door? He's just standing there. Looking confused at the condom wrappers and panties on the floor. I finally tell him I'm not going, and he leaves. Then I fall to the floor laughing my ass off. The guy is too stupid for words.